Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Walk of Shame

I love writing for CeX. Love it. But sometimes that love is tested, I must say. Like a long lasting marriage rocked by infidelity, my love affair with CeX was put to the test while recently watching Walk of Shame. But don't worry kids, CeX and I worked through this. Just know that it wasn't CeX's fault as it was entirely it was my decision to review Walk of Shame. I know, I screwed up, but all I can do is apologise, right? But while I am holding my hands up on this one, some of the blame must be placed on the entire team behind Walk of Shame. Yeah, I'm looking at you Steven Brill, Elizabeth Banks and James Marsden! Thanks for creating the film equivalent of the Ebola virus.

Directed and written by Steven Brill, mastermind writer behind D3: The Mighty Ducks, comes Walk of Shame, a film that should be used as a form of torture. The film kicks off with various clips of TV news bloopers. However, despite the fact that all of these bloopers are real and actually exist, Walk of Shame decided to re-film them. Why? I have no idea, but through re-filming them with z-grade shitty actors, they're no longer in the slightest bit funny. Not off to a great start, I know, and Walk of Shame only gets worse. The film focuses on Meghan Miles, a news reporter played by Elizabeth Banks. After losing out on a job to another reporter, Meghan's friends take her out for a night on the town. Meghan ends up getting pretty drunk and finds herself in the bed of everyone's favourite Cyclops, James Marsden. Then, after waking up and trying to sneak out, she discovers that she’s left his apartment without her phone. The problem is that she's also unable to get back into his apartment to get her phone and purse. Alone, without a phone, directions and money, Meghan must make her way across down town L.A, through a legion of drugs dealers, drug users, hookers, cops and all kinds of other weirdos. Think of it kind of like The Warriors, but instead of a group of badass dudes running from 10,000 murderous gang members, it's Elizabeth Banks in high heels wandering around down town L.A. Yeah, it's not exactly great...

The problem with Walk of Shame is, well, everything. The premise is actually not that bad, but from the start of the film until when she returns home, it's just pretty damn awful. It's not as funny as it thinks it is. From cops mistaking her as a prostitute, crack-heads who end up being charming dudes, various uncomfortable racial jokes, a fat taxi driver that demands Meghan gives him a lap dance, to a kid that wants to trade his bike in order to see her breasts, Walk of Shame is just bloody awful. It's one of those weird films that manage to do something very unique; it comes across as being both sexiest to men and women. You see, in Walk of Shame world, men are either creeps or James Marsden, while women are either ditzy or hookers, basically. Ugh. Falling in line with films like The Hangover trilogy and Bridesmaids, Walk of Shame tries to be edgy and crude, and while it does ultimately achieve that, it forgets to throw in a few worthwhile laughs along the way.

But the worst part about Walk of Shame is the fact that most of the actors here are actually quite decent. I mean, Elizabeth Banks is pretty great in The Hunger Games while James Marsden... well... who doesn't love James Marsden, right? But In Walk of Shame they're reduced to the generic one-night-stand-hunk and stupid blonde girl, which sure, they kind of slip right into that category visually, but they deserve so much more!

Overall Walk of Shame is just a complete waste of time. It's a film that wanted so badly to be the next The Hangover... but for girls; a film girls can drag their sulking boyfriends along to, watch and think “LOL, I've been there!” But this plan of roping in women failed, as their much smarter than Steven Brill assumes they are. Walk of Shame appeals to no one. Ever.

Walk of Shame does the walk of shame (see what I did there?) and gets a 1/5.


Denis Murphy

Walk of Shame at CeX

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