This week I’ve been sitting around and doing very little so I decided to watch a film. Since I don’t like enjoying myself very much, and because it was in the spirit of Halloween, I decided to watch the worst sounding horror film I could. I decided on WolfCop. The one thing about Wolfcop that instantly strikes me as odd was how often people asked me what it was about. There really isn’t much more to it than a cop who is also a wolf.
Out now on DVD and Blu-Ray comes WolfCop, a comedy I'm fairly sure is funny in all the wrong places. Lou (Leo Fafard) is a cop in a small dusty American town. There isn't a lot of respect for the police there, nor is there a lot of crime, and this causes Lou, the son of a great cop, to be negligent. Finding himself waking up time after time, covered in the his own vomit and wee-wee beside a naked woman with no face or name, Lou has little interest in solving crimes or doing his job. That said, he's seemingly the only person in the town qualified to do it other than Tina (Amy Matysio) who just happens to be perfect for the role of supporting policewoman number 1. A conspiracy theorising, government fearing, paranoid, liberal hating, gun toting and slightly mentally ill member of the town is responsible for almost every call made to the station.
This nut is called Willie (Jonathan Cherry) and is concerned about some weird occult behaviour he thinks he found in the forest near his house, which he thinks is related to a lot of missing animals. Dogs, cats, sparrows, chimps and anything that bleeds have been going missing recently, and Willie is freaking out but Lou doesn’t care any more than he ever did. Instead he wants to go and sit in Jessica’s bar and flirt with her. He flirts with her so hard that she becomes a plot point in no time, as the least terrifying man in the world comes to destroy her bar the following night. Unfortunately for the ‘bad men’ this coincides with Lou getting a bit Wolfie and he pops in and pulls all the men apart like a bag of crisps.
The film progresses from here with a weirdly off balance approach to violence moving from Laurel and Hardy slapstick, and then suddenly someone will get their face ripped right off their skull leaving blood everywhere. A problem I had was with the voice of Lou when he is WolfCop which is so distorted that I couldn’t understand what he was saying. It was distorted in that way that monsters voices get in films, where the voice has had it’s pitch shifted down so low that it makes anyone with a sub-woofer in their house shit themselves right into hospital. The supporting characters where strangely but efficiently credulous when it came to receiving the news of Lou’s condition.
“I’m a werewolf”
“Ah right, what are we gonna do about that”
“I dunno let’s get a drink”
It also transpires that he is a very powerful werewolf and takes it upon himself to investigate an occult conspiracy, the reason he is so strong is because he drinks so much, making it a mixture between American Werewolf in London and Legend of the Drunken Master.
The film progresses from here with a weirdly off balance approach to violence moving from Laurel and Hardy slapstick, and then suddenly someone will get their face ripped right off their skull leaving blood everywhere. A problem I had was with the voice of Lou when he is WolfCop which is so distorted that I couldn’t understand what he was saying. It was distorted in that way that monsters voices get in films, where the voice has had it’s pitch shifted down so low that it makes anyone with a sub-woofer in their house shit themselves right into hospital. The supporting characters where strangely but efficiently credulous when it came to receiving the news of Lou’s condition.
“I’m a werewolf”
“Ah right, what are we gonna do about that”
“I dunno let’s get a drink”
It also transpires that he is a very powerful werewolf and takes it upon himself to investigate an occult conspiracy, the reason he is so strong is because he drinks so much, making it a mixture between American Werewolf in London and Legend of the Drunken Master.
It’s meant to be a comedy, but part of me thinks that it’s funny in a way that it’s not supposed to be, being that it’s clearly a terrible film that is so-bad-it’s-good, and the ‘jokes’ are barely definable as such. If I’m wrong about this then it’s style slots somewhere in between Garth Merenghi’s Darkplace and Evil Dead : Army of Darkness, not in quality I must point out, but rather merely in style. It’s not a must-see film but I enjoyed it much more than I thought I was going to. Some of the lines, like the tagline ‘Here comes the fuzz’, made me cringe my way to a hernia, but overall it was what it was and what it was was a silly film that was quite fun.
WolfCop takes a sizeable bite with a 3/5.
WolfCop takes a sizeable bite with a 3/5.
★★★☆☆
Dave Roberts
WolfCop at CeX
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