Sunday, 25 December 2016

Top 5 Christmas Films

Ah, Christmas. What NOT to love about it, folks? Food, presents, Christmas films. Rinse and repeat.


 However, if you're like me you're probably sitting here on Christmas Day thinking, "I've too many films to watch- TELL ME WHAT TO WATCH!". Chill. I can help you out. OK, go fix yourself another Turkey sandwich and lets get into the Top 5 Christmas films. 

5- Home Alone




What do you get when you put a two unsuspecting victims in a house of horror, full to the brim with death traps set up by a shadowy sinister mastermind? No, you don't get Saw, you get a little film called Home Alone. Home Alone is basically a staple of Christmas at the point, right? It stars little boy wonder of the 90's Macaulay Culkin, long before he turned to a life of shitty bit parts and looking like he smells of old eggs.

It still stacks up today too, but now more than ever I watch the film with a keen sense that Kevin is kind of a murderer in the making. Seriously though, look at the traps he sets for these guys? If this where real life, Kevin would be collecting what's left of Harry and Marv in a paint bucket. Broken heads, smashed chests, tarred and feathered, burnt noggins. Shocking! Don't get me wrong, I'm sure Harry and Marv are a bunch of scumbags, but still.

4- Jingle All The Way



Ah, Jingle All The Way. How can you NOT love this film? Arnie making noises like he wants to be let outside to go potty, Anakin Skywalker pulling yet another punchable face, Sinbad clutching onto the final remnants of his career outside until he found himself cleaning the floors of Pizza Hut, the lamest action figure of all time TURBO MAN and, very honestly, yet another great performance by the late Phil Hartman as the next door neighbour with that shit eating grin.

All in all Jingle All The Way is one of those guilty pleasures at Christmas. Yes, technically it's a bit shit, but so is Skyrim, but we all played that, right?

3- National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation



Sure, it's not the best National Lampoon's film. Then again, it's not even the best comedy of 1989. But hey, it IS the best film Chevy Chase had coming out that year. Sorry Fletch Lives, you're crap, mate.

So yeah, it ain't perfect, but it's a quintessential Christmas film to pop on while shamefully making your way through the best sweets from a Quality Street tin. You know the ones, right? The ones in the purple wrappers that are filled with caramel and a HUGE nut. Hell yes. Anyway, it may not be amazing, but you simply MUST watch this over Christmas. It's like a law. Seriously.

2- The Muppet Christmas Carol



Ah, now I can't be ragging on this one, I think. This is possibly the only Christmas film from my list that is, quite literally, the PERFECT Christmas film. Based on A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, this adaptation stars Michael Caine as the old mean Ebenezer Scrooge. Starring alongside a bunch of Muppets (just like in Jaws: The Revenge), Caine plays the role of Scrooge with both a sense of humour and honesty.

Filled with a bunch of Muppet gags and topped off by tender, beautiful moments, The Muppet Christmas Carol is a must-watch for the entire family.

1- Die Hard



What else? Die Hard isn't technically a Christmas film...but I'm saying it is because it takes place at Christmas. I mean, what makes a film a Christmas film?  Sure, there are no smile or good feelings here, but there are bad dudes getting shot in the face, Alan Rickman playing a German badass, Bruce Willis being sarcastic and an epic soundtrack by Michael Kamen.

Seriously, this is the Christmas film you need to watch with some grub and a few friends around. So check out these films and enjoy! Oh and Merry Christmas!

Den Murphy




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