Wednesday 29 November 2017

Emoji Movie ★★★★★★

It is with humble honour and the greatest humility that I give you my review of inarguably the best movie of the year.

For better or for worse, you can’t escape The Emoji Movie in 2017. Never has a children’s film thrown up so much controversy and conjured such ire from critics. However, being the ethical journalist that I am, I ignored all this negativity and went in with cautious optimism and an open mind.

And I can confirm that every one of those expert critics, reviewers, and writers couldn’t have been more wrong - this is the Citizen Kane of the modern era. Don’t believe me? Read on to find out all the completely un-sarcastic reasons why The Emoji Movie is my pick to clean up the Oscars this year.

The Good

The biggest (of the many) strengths of The Emoji Movie is its relatable protagonist, a ‘meh’ emoji known as Gene. Now, all Gene wants to do is find his place in the world of Textopolis (the city that apparently exists behind every phone screen), and we follow his trials and tribulations as he meets a whole host of zany characters and discovers not only the secrets of the digital landscape but perhaps most importantly, himself.

What’s more, the sheer excellence of The Emoji Movie isn’t limited to the story, as the animation style manages to be equally brilliant. It truly is remarkable what computer generated graphics can be achieved nowadays, allowing an audience to become easily immersed and empathise with what are essentially pixels and polygons. The Emoji Movie is no exception to this trend and definitely doesn’t look like as dated as an early 2000s Dreamworks film. Trust me…

If stellar storytelling and presentation weren’t enough to impress even the most stoic critic, we’re also treated to a musical number for the ages. Witnessing the ‘Emoji Bop’ was a transcendent experience; I felt compelled to throw roses at the screen as I fought back the tears. As previously mentioned, The Emoji Movie is sure to clear out the Oscars, however if it doesn’t also have a strong showing at the Grammys, it’ll be a crime against music. 

Finally, as life-affirmingly entertaining as The Emoji Movie was, it serves a much more serious purpose that it would be missed of me not to mention. Through selfless product placement, it reminds us and the next generation of the online services we should be using like Spotify and Dropbox. I balk at the notion that this is a flagrant attempt to advertise to children, such cynicism should be derided. This is nothing short of a public service by the creators of The Emoji Movie.

The Bad

I feel that I’m doing the film a disservice by even including this section. My only grievance is with the unfair backlash to this underrated, misunderstood masterpiece.

The Verdict

Don’t listen to the critics.

The Emoji Movie is a gift, a piece of art without flaw and something that I hope will be on the national school syllabus soon. Film of the year is an understatement, even film of the decade sells it short, for truly there is no parable. Thank you The Emoji Movie, thank you.

I’d also just like to reiterate that this review is definitely not sarcastic. Promise.


Sir Thomas Baker

Emoji Movie at CeX

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