Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I grew up watching and loving the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the original cartoon TV series that started in 1987 and ran for a total of 10 seasons. Alongside Transformers, Thundercats and Return to the Planet of the Apes (I know, I was a boring kid, alright?), the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was a cartoon I'd watch every Saturday morning with a bowl of Sugar Puffs. Of course, the Turtles didn't originate from this TV show, but rather from the Kevin Eastman and  Peter Laird 1984 comic book of the same name. Since it's creation there have been various incarnations of the Turtles on TV, in movies, games and comics. However, after a trilogy of movies in the 90's and one back in 2007, the series has been reboot once again for the big screen. But with a name like Michael Bay attached to the project, is it any good or does it squander the massive amount of potential the franchise offers up?

Directed by Jonathan Liebesman and out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, a movie I completely expected to be complete crap, but ended up being, well, just barely OK. Though I forget quite a lot about the Turtles and their origin story, I'm pretty sure most of it remains intact here. The movies main human character is April O'Neil, a spunky news reporter played by Megan Fox, which for anyone who knew the April from the TV show, will see this as the worst casting of all time. Anyway, April is looking into the rise of the Foot Clan; a mysterious gang that are on the rise in New York City, and who are led by Shredder, a badass dude in a giant mechanical samurai suit. On one of her excursions out to find out more about the Foot Clan, April stumbles upon the four Turtles- Leonardo, Raphael, Michelangelo and Donatello, who are anthropomorphic mutant vigilantes who kick ass and eat pizza, and not always in that order. The story hits a lot of familiar ground, especially when it comes to the baddies master-plan, which is essentially to release a harmful toxin into the city to in turn sell the cure  at a high price. Been there, done that. 

Like I said, I expected it to be terrible, and it kind of is, but not completely. One thing they pretty much nailed here are the personalities of the Turtles themselves. Though I could go on for a long time about the genuinely hideous designs of the Turtles, they all come across like they should. Leonardo is still the strong, respectful leader type, Raphael is still the rough and tumble brute (well, a little too much here but whatever), Donatello remains the techy nerd of the bunch, while Michelangelo is the funny guy, and the Turtle that's always up for a good time. Their personalities reflect their look too, as instead of the Turtles looking different simply in terms of bandanna colour and weapon, Leonardo has remnants of armour on his body, Raphael has shades and a toothpick, Michelangelo has a hoodie tied around his waist and Donatello has goggles and headphones on his head. They might be overly designed at times, but these are still the Turtles well all know and love.

The problems come about outside of anything that has to do with the Turtles and their fun and cheeky dialogue between each other. Megan Fox drags the movie down as April, as though I'm sure Michael Bay thought she fit perfectly into the world of Transformers, she just seems bizarrely miscast here as the sweet and reliable April. Hell, compared to Fox even Will Arnett's casting as Vern Fenwick seems masterful, who bumbles his way from scene to scene playing the nebbish, snooty and annoying cameraman alongside April. The action falls in line with what Michael Bay set in place for Transformers too, as though he merely produced this movie, his visual style, particularly during the action scenes, stinks its way through the movie. From lens flare, ultra high contrast visuals, cameras that move fast ans shake as if to avoid the action on screen and, of course, slow motion, Bay's fingerprints are all over this shit. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the action for what it was and the fact that it featured Leonardo going toe-to-toe with Shredder himself, but it just came across too glossy, confusing and overcooked.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is fun, but though I'll admit that the makers of the movie did a great job with the Turtles themselves, the movie these characters inhabit is far too mundane, run-of-the-mill and boring to warrant this reboot. I wanted Turtles that looked like the Turtles I loved when I was a kid. I wanted an April O'Neil that wasn't just a botoxed bimbo. I wanted a Shredder that didn't look like a Transformer and was voiced by James Avery. I wanted action that wasn't obscured by crazy camera movements. I got none of this. Instead I got a generic yet watchable take on the franchise.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is recovering from a pizza induced food baby and gets a 2/5.

★★☆☆☆

Denis Murphy

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CeX MCM Midlands Picture Competition Winners!

Many thanks to all our wonderful fans who entered the CeX MCM Midlands Comic Con Picture Competition, we absolutely loved seeing all of our fans and your creative cosplays - we can’t wait to see what you come up with next time!

To our 3rd place winners, a family of Pokemon Masters, a £50 voucher!

To our 2nd place winner, who is definitely not too short to be a Storm Trooper, a £150 voucher!

As for first place, drum roll please!

The winners and lucky individuals who will receive a £250 voucher is this duo :D

We'll get in contact soon with your prizes!

Thanks to everyone who entered, and stay tuned for more competitions in the future!

Dying Light

A while ago I reviewed the travesty that was Escape Dead Island. Generic in every way imaginable and genuinely awful to boot, the game is a complete mess. Escape Dead Island was a spin-off from the Dead Island series, which after developing the first game and its expansion, developer Techland left the franchise behind. However, while that may lead you to the assumption that Techland wanted to try something new, you'd be completely wrong in thinking so. Instead, after leaving a franchise that focused on surviving in a zombie infested open-world, Techland have moved into not so new territory by making a game that focuses on surviving in a zombie infested world. Oh, Techland. Then again, though I generally disliked their Dead Island series, does this latest brain eating offering right the wrongs of Dead Island? For the most part, yes.

Developed by Techland and out now on Playstation 4, Xbox One and PC comes Dying Light, a game, despite being hampered by bugs and some boring quests, is a zombie experience like no other. The game places you in the shoes of Kyle Crane, a guy who is such a generic and bland character that it's actually hilarious. Muscles? Check! Short cropped hair? Check! 5 o'clock shadow? Check! As the game opens Kyle is infiltrating the zombie quarantine zone in the city of Harran. Overrun with flesh eating creatures and falling to pieces, the city is literally on its last legs. Kyle is sent in to track down a political figure who has some sensitive documentation on him. But as Kyle learns more about the city of Harran and the hopelessness of the people who live in it, he decides to stick around to help out the survivors. The plot isn't some pinnacle of writing, but that's OK because it doesn't need to be. It's a zombie adventure not The Godfather. Despite being shallow and hollow, the story and characters do just enough to push the narrative forward, and that's good enough for me. The true focus and brilliance in Dying Light is the world those bland characters inhabit.

Dying Light is an open-world first-person adventure game, and generally comes across like some insane mush-up of Far Cry 4, Mirror's Edge and, of course, Dead Island. Once thrown into the sprawling city of Harran you'll need to get around quite quickly, so it's a good thing that Kyle is pretty adept at free running. Free running around Harran will be your lifeline, so mastering it early on is paramount. From sprinting at high speeds, climbing up buildings and jumping across rooftops, getting around in Dying Light can often be cumbersome and clumsy, but throughout the game it never ceases to be exhilarating, thrilling and fun. Along the way though you'll often run into various bugs which can sometimes sour how good the game is. Also, though missions do indeed get far more interesting, twisted and unique a little later into Dying Light's 40 hour-ish adventure, the first half of the game is filled with so many fetch quests that I wanted to pull my hair out.

The entire game isn't solely based on free running away from zombies though, as thankfully you also get to bash and shoot them in the face. Much like Dead Island, Dying Light features the ability to create new and interesting weapons. Whether you decide to electrify your knife or simple add some nails to a bat, with all of the various different crafting options available, there are over 100 different weapons combinations to choose from. Of course, you can also use firearms which are  deadly as they are powerful, but their noise will often draw zombies towards your location. Different scenarios call for different weapons, and Dying Light does a great job at giving you various options.

One addition to gameplay that effectively changes how you play Dying Light is the excellent day and night system. During the day zombies are slow and have their senses dulled. This is when you'll need to venture out, rescue survivors, scavenged for materials, items and parts and bring them back the various safe zones. These daytime moments are tense enough, but you never feel that threatened. However, if you happen to be out and about when the sun goes down, then you'll notice that the zombies begin to change. Once the sun goes down zombies are faster, more viscous and will literally chase you down at full speed. Times like these are and utterly terrifying, and with the ability of being able to peer behind you during mid-run to see the sprinting hordes hot on your heels, daylight will become your best friend in Dying Light. This day and night cycle effectively changes the landscape of how you interact with the world in the game, and though zombie games haven't really been effective over the past few years, this is an experience that finally makes zombies scary again. They're like the Daleks in Doctor Who, as after years of being overused, they're just not scary any more.

Overall Dying Light isn't perfect, but does the unthinkable is the fact that is ultimately makes zombies terrifying again. When the sun goes down in Dying Light all bets for survival are off, and it makes for some of the best, most tense and heart pounding games I've experienced in quite awhile. If you can look past the terrible characters, bland story, boring quests and random bugs, Dying Light is a bloody adventure worth taking, if even simply for its incredible sandbox open-world.

Dying Light makes it to the safe zone in one piece and gets a 4/5.

★★★★☆

Denis Murphy

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Lucy Video Review

Check out Dave's thoughts on Lucy. Does it compare to Luc Besson's classics like Leon, The Fifth Element and Taken? Find out at our YouTube channel or by watching the video below!

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Evolve

More and more of the games that were delayed in 2014 that I couldn’t wait to play are all coming out in the next few months, and Evolve is next on my list of games to play. I was all aboard the hype train with this, and a few of my friends couldn’t see why. When you look at it, you might think “Four hunters vs. one monster constantly, won’t it get boring?” In the words of Di Caprio in The Wolf of Wall Street: “Absolutely f*cking not.” Will the game with over 60 awards live up to the hype? Put it this way -Evolve is up there with one of the best multiplayer games I’ve ever played. 

Developed by Turtle Rock Studios and out now for Playstation 4, Xbox One, and PC comes Evolve, an asymmetrical first person shooter, with a heavy focus on multiplayer. Evolve is set on the fictional planet of Shear, where the most established colonies are attacked by malicious alien monsters. William Cabot, a former planet tamer, is brought out of retirement to deal with the threat, assembling a team of hunters – consisting of war veterans, psychopaths, professionals, and expendables – to eliminate the monsters. 

Players can of course choose to play as a hunter or the monster. There are 12 hunters to choose from, split into four categories: Medic, Support, Trapper, and Assault. Each class has three different characters to choose from, however to unlock the 2nd and 3rd character of each class, you must complete three challenges, which cycle between that characters items, and count towards the mastery of that character. The same applies to the monster, however there are only three to choose from right now. The character ranking system forces players to play a certain way to unlock or master their characters, opposed to just leveling it up via the xp you earn. However, I don’t agree with the level cap being 40, as you earn a whole lot of xp from playing the “Evacuation” game mode as a bonus for finishing it. After a week of playing a game I couldn’t contain my excitement for, to be capped at 40 is a bit of a let down. 

 As you can imagine, the strategy between playing as a hunter or monster differs. To succeed as the jet-pack equipped hunters, teamwork is essential. You really can’t go all Rambo and solo the monster, even if it’s AFK, as a bot will take over and destroy you. Every character compliments each other, which also adds to the dire need for teamwork if you want to increase your chances of winning. You have to remember your character roles, so if you’re playing as the Medic, don’t try and be a damage dealer, focus on healing. Assault is the DPS guy, Support can buff other hunters, and Trapper slows and contains the monster. Effectively combining the four is the key to victory. However, it does require communication with the other team, and if you can’t talk to your team members for whatever reason, the hunters may struggle.

The monster starts off as a vulnerable creature, and must focus on killing wildlife to feed and “Evolve”. Evolving as a monster allows you to slowly upgrade any of your four abilities, with three upgrades available for the abilities, and nine potential skill points to spend, so you can apply them to your preferred moves. There are three monsters to choose from: Goliath - a rock throwing brute, Kraken - a much bigger Davy Jones, and Wraith - a serpent-esque creature that can decoy, teleport, and go invisible (and yes, it is as annoying as it sounds).  The hunters, presuming they’re doing their job right, will be on your tail constantly. The monster can sneak to avoid leaving footprints, which will completely fool everyone other than Daisy, a sci-fi dog known as a Trapjaw, which can smell the monster over time if it’s constantly sneaking/leaves new footprints. Playing it right on both parts can lead to a rather long, tense battle, and one that requires a lot of strategy and skill. The whole experience is a truly unique one that I can’t get enough of.

Players can traverse through 16 maps across four game modes, not to mention that all future map packs will be free! In Hunt, the main objective for the hunters is to take out the monster before the monster evolves and destroys the generator. Nest is where the monster, must defend six eggs, whereas the hunters must destroy those eggs. Rescue is where hunters must find, revive, protect, and escort injured colonists to safety, and of course the monster must kill them - first to five saves/kills wins. In Defend, hunters must protect the generators from being destroyed until their ship is fully refueled. I personally prefer the objective based game modes, as it can be a faster paced affair with the monster and hunters both forced into going for the win a lot quicker than the likes of Hunt, nevertheless they’re all enjoyable and mix things up every now and then. The maps are absolutely packed with wildlife, and even animals that can grab or catch the hunters can kill them if there are no teammates around to save them. The fact you constantly have to be aware of your surroundings keeps you on your toes, and adds to the intensity that comes with searching a two-story monster.

Playlist wise, there isn’t a great deal. Evacuation is a playlist, which is carried out over the course of five days. It’ll always start off as Hunt, and whoever is picked to be the hunters and the monster will stay as a hunter or monster until the end of the Evacuation campaign. The great thing about Evacuation is that you’ll very rarely have the exact same sequence of events happen, as whoever wins a round will receive a map specific perk to take into the next game, as well as the loser receiving a 10% damage buff to take into the next game due to auto-balance. Players can then vote for Nest or Rescue, whichever they choose will be taken out of the choice for the next selection and replaced with Hunt, up until Day Five, where it’ll always be Defend. For example, the map “Wraith Trap” will provide the winner with teleportation portals for the next match, so you get the idea. It’s a fun playlist to play with friends, especially working hard together to try and go for a complete shut out and land a 5-0 victory! The Skirmish playlist is Hunt on repeat, and you can also host custom matches with your friends, and apply over 40 different modifiers if you fancy taking a break from the serious side of saving Shear. Honestly, for a multiplayer focused game, there should definitely be more competitive playlists than two; as for any other gamer the choices available could become quite monotonous.

I only have a few problems with Evolve. On numerous occasions, the visuals have bugged out to the point where I’ve had to turn my console off, with leaves somehow scaling 1,000x bigger and covering the sky and my screen, completely blocking off my visibility. I’ve seen a load of downed players fall through the map, making it impossible to revive them, and there’s even been a time where someone in my party has ended up being the monster – something that the game doesn’t allow. There are definitely a few bugs present, as well as many disconnection issues, and when a multiplayer focused game is having connection issues, many people can immediately lose interest. Although the game is supposed to be balanced, there are definitely a few moves which are slightly overpowered still, but that’s to be expected and a patch has already been announced for that.

Overall, Evolve is a unique multiplayer experience that requires you to be strategic and work well as a team to succeed, unless you’re the monster of course. The gameplay is very smooth and the maps will always provide the players with an experience that will keep them on their toes. The ever-changing Evacuation playlist breathes fresh air into Evolve, as you’ll have a different play-through every time. Everything about Evolve reels me in to play more and more every day, and the fact I’ve played it enough to hold the #1 spot in the World as Hyde on PS4 shows how much I’m enjoying it! My only problems with the game right now are the disconnection issues, the minor glitches in visuals, the level cap is pretty low, and the slight lack of content that could lead to the game becoming monotonous for some gamers.

Evolve rock throws and leap smashes its way to a solid 4/5.

★★★★☆

Sam Terry

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Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate

Over the past year or so, there have been a few titles released for the PS Vita that are obviously doing they're best to replicate the success Capcom is having with Monster Hunter. The one that sticks out in my mind recently is Freedom Wars, a fun futuristic game that was essentially Monster Hunter with a sci-fi twist. But all of the imitators are just that- imitations. Since the first Monster Hunter game on the Playstation 2 was released just over a decade ago, the series has been a massive success worldwide. With it's gameplay that is a bizarre blend of different genres and plays like a MMO, this latest entry in the series retains the greatness of what came before. While it may be too samey for some out there, Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate is here to take away a chunk of your life.

Developed by Capcom and out now for Nintendo 3DS comes Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, possibly the best entry in the series to date. I haven't played all of the games myself, but it betters Monster Hunter Tri in every way from graphics, gameplay to monsters. Throughout the series Monster Hunter has always dodged the idea of containing a real story, as the game generally pointed you toward a monster, gave you a shitty sword and said, “Go fight that and then fight some more. See ya later!”. But that has somewhat changed in Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate, as the game now contains a story mode. It's generally there for newcomers, and despite being incredibly text heavy, it will get newbies up to speed with what's available in the game. In the story you're part of a caravan of hunters that must investigate a mysterious artifact someone in the caravan has found. This quest will bring you from location to location and town to town, all the while hunting huge badass monsters in between. Naturally, the game can also be played with other players, which as seen before in the series can make for some pretty excellent moments.

On the surface gameplay looks the exact same as what we saw in Monster Hunter Tri and other previous entries. Essentially gameplay focuses on three main areas- exploration, combat and customization. These are the three pillars to the franchise, and Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate perfects them. First off, throughout your time with Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate you'll explore various  locations, both out in the wilderness filled with roaming beasts, and towns that are populated with villagers, quests and shops. A great update to getting around is the fact that now movement is far more fluid and free-form than it was in Monster Hunter Tri. From leaping off platforms, landing on the ground and continuing to run without stopping, to being able to quickly scale walls and climbable surfaces, getting around is now far more responsive and pleasing.

Then there's the fighting, which come about in response to the quests you pick up during your down time in a town, mostly from villagers in need of help. These quests always have a bit of a unique spin on them, but beyond window dressing the goal of any quest is to simply kill a particular monster. It's at this point that you'll need to stock up before heading out into the wilderness in your bid to hunt down the monster. After arming yourself and making sure you're stocked up with potions and whatnot, hunting the monster can take time, patience and skill. Then the fighting kicks off, which much like Dark Souls, is anything but an exercise in button mashing. It's one of those games that if you go in repeatedly slamming the attack button you'll be dead in seconds. Instead you'll often need to rely on dodging a monsters attacks entirely, and simply keeping an eye out for what kind of attack pattern they have. If taken seriously and mastered, combat is incredibly nuanced and ultimately very rewarding.

Customization is the icing on cake in Monster Hunter Ultimate 4. You can kit out your character in every way imaginable, but the true genius here is that you're able to craft weapons and armour from the skins, bones, teeth and scales of monsters you've vanquished. Though some weapons require pieces from multiple carcasses, there's nothing quite like focusing on a monsters tail, only for it to break off in mid-battle. If you want to upgrade your armour and weapons, focusing on key parts of a monster- and not necessarily parts of its body that are the weakest- is the key to becoming a truly great hunter. This is where Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate will keep bringing you back for more, as there's no levelling up and your character technically remains the same through the game. Instead, in  Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate you become a better hunter through hard work, fighting well and in turn crafting good weapons, and not by some invisible XP system.

Overall Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate is basically the best Monster Hunter to date. It's packed full of adventure and action, and contains enough badass bosses to go toe-to-toe with that it'll hold your attention for a good while. Though the game is fantastic as a single-player experience, playing it on multiplayer with a few mates around  ramps up the greatness tenfold, and makes for a gaming session that is often unforgettable. Just be prepared to get sucked into its world.

Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate slays the competition and gets a 5/5.

★★★★★

Denis Murphy

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The Babadook

“Ba...Baaaaa...Dook...Dooook...DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!”

When this line was said during the movie I almost wet myself.

I've always been a fan of horror, but if you've read some of my past reviews of horror movies you probably wouldn't think so. You see, compared to every other genre out there, I'm at my most picky when it comes to horror movies. Why? Because good, interesting and original horror is slowly getting pushed out of the way in place for run-of-the-mill horror that overuses both jump-scares and shaky-cam. Don't get me wrong, I know someone could say the same for almost any genre, but horror is something that, if pulled off well, can make for the greatest movie experiences. Thankfully this latest offering harkens back to classics such as The Exorcist, The Omen and The Shining, as it expertly taps into raw human fears and emotions to astounding effect.

Directed by Jennifer Kent and out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes The Babadook, the best horror movie I've seen since The Conjuring, another horror that I found to be incredible. The Babadook centres around single mother Amelia and her son Samuel. Samuel is not an ordinary child, and beyond his excessive problems at school, Samuel also has an interest in weapons. That's not a good combo. As much as Amelia wants to be a good mother, you can even tell that she's getting sick of his shit. One night Samuel asks Amelia to read him a bedtime story, and after looking through what's on offer on the bookshelf (by the way, the kid didn't even have a Tekwar book on the shelf, Sheesh!), she finds a book called Mister Babadook. The book starts out normal enough but gets pretty creepy, and basically focuses on a monster called Mister Babadook who can enter your house if you let it. While reading the book Samuel begins to get incredibly scared, though Amelia, more so than Samuel, seems utterly entranced by what she's reading. From there on into the movie Samuel is convinced that the Babadook is in their home, and backing up his suspicions are strange goings on, with doors opening on their own and unusual noises throughout the house being the least of the families worries.

The Babadook isn't a typical horror movie. It doesn't contain lashings of shaky-cam and gore. It doesn't depict the Babadook as a 15-ft tall CGI creature. It doesn't rely heavily on jump-scares. It doesn't rely on the same silly tropes that we see year in and year out in the cinema. No, The Babadook falls in line with some of the classics in terms of acting, story pacing and scares. It's starts off slow, it's often understated and though it's definitely chilling at first, it's only until around the halfway point where the real scares start coming. But these scares leave much to the imagination, which as all the greatest horror movies have thought us, is the key component of true terror- fear of the unknown, fear of what we may be capable of and fear of things we just can't comprehend. The Babadook offers up this kind of terror by the bucket load, and is definitely one of those movies that not only demands multiple viewings, but will also stick with you long after the credits have stopped.

The Babadook is superb horror, and this achievement mainly falls upon the shoulders of director/writer Jennifer Kent and Essie Davis who plays Amelia. First off, this is Jennifer Kent directorial debut, and for her to come out with something so powerful, creepy and unsettling is a bloody tremendous start to a career. Both in terms of directing and the utterly incredible script Kent brings to the table here, The Babadook excels in leaps and bounds, and truly hits home the fact that Kent is a talent to watch out for. The same kind of praise should be given to Essie Davis too, as her portrayal of Amelia is everything from heartbreaking to shocking. Through The Babadook Davis is hurled from emotion to emotion, and it's clear that it must have been a pretty rough shoot for her. But these two women ultimately make The Babadook not just memorable, but completely burnt into the memory of those who watch it.

Overall The Babadook is easily one of the best horror movies I have ever seen. It's unnerving and terrifying but also surprisingly moving and smart. Though it may be stacked alongside shit like Annabelle and The Purge, The Babadook really doesn't belong next to that garbage. It's horror movie-making at its best, and you need to watch it tonight.

The Babadook is provides incredible scares and gets a 5/5.

★★★★★

Denis Murphy

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Futurama Volume 8

Out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes Futurama Volume 8 (also confusingly referred to as the 10th broadcast season, season 8 or the second half of season 7) and contains the last ever episodes of Futurama, and boy does the show go out on a high note.  Containing the usual mix of humour, obscure pop culture and scientific references, and heartfelt emotion this final volume of Futurama sums up why the show was such a big cult hit.

The boxset contains 13 episodes and unlike a lot of other long running animated shows in their final days, it doesn’t really have a weak link. The episodes are all great and they ensure the show will have a strong and devoted following even after it’s gone. Although saying that, there are a few particularly standout episodes with arguably the best one being ‘Murder on the Planet Express’. In a parody of Alien, The Thing, and Murder on the Orient Express the Planet Express crew are trapped aboard the ship with a shape shifting killer creature that slowly picks the crew members off one by one. The episode demonstrates the best parts of Futurama and is both extremely funny and incredibly clever, with the jokes about Scruffy the Janitor’s new expendable apprentice Jackie Jr. getting the biggest laugh. Another especially hilarious episode is ‘Assie Come Home’ which follows Bender as he searches the universe for his missing shiny metal rear end. It might sound like the sort of episode a show at the end of its run and out of ideas might produce, but it’s actually pretty well balanced between butt jokes and strangely genuine emotion. You wouldn’t think Bender getting upset over the loss of his shiny metal ass would be as sad as it is but credit to the Futurama team, who actually make it into a weirdly poignant episode. As well as this, the episode is chock full of the random and diverse sci-fi character cameos that Futurama creates so well, such as The Borax Kid and the hilariously over the top Hedonism bot.

As well as being hilarious, Futurama is also known for its episodes that tug at the audiences heartstrings. In the past we had the super sad ‘Jurassic Bark’ and the bittersweet ‘The Luck of The Fryish,’ and in volume 8 there are two more emotional episodes. The first one is ‘Game of Tones’ which as well as containing all of the amusing jokes we’ve come to expect of Futurama, also contains an exceptional emotional core and a great character moment for Fry. After an alien ship appears in outer space, broadcasting a mysterious melody that only Fry recognises, the crew must journey into Fry’s dreams to find out what it is. Along the way Fry is reunited with elements from his past including his ex-girlfriend Michelle (voiced by Sarah Silverman), his dead dog Seymour (hilariously voiced by Seth McFarlane in a nod to Brian in Family Guy) and most importantly, his mother. The relationship between Fry and his Mum hadn’t really been focused on up until this point and to address the fact that she effectively thinks her son is dead is good move for the show and it offers some closure to Fry’s character.

The second stand-out episode in Volume 8 is the final one, entitled ‘Meanwhile’. This episode is the definition of bittersweet as, on one hand, the episode is incredibly funny and happy and it gives the relationship between Fry and Leela a perfect ending. But on the other hand, it’s the last episode of the show ever, which makes Professor Farnsworth’s final line even more poignant.

The show is as well animated as ever and the various planets and cities are all perfectly realised and diverse. The writing is still top-notch and the jokes are as fresh as ever. A couple of moments feel slightly familiar (Bender losing his body in ‘Assie Come Home’ or Fry and Bender making another deal with The Robot Devil in ‘Calculon 2.0’) but this doesn’t make them any less funny. In fact the show remains the most hilarious and heartfelt animated show on TV right up until the end and hopefully, this will be how it is remembered in the years to come.

Futurama Volume 8 gets a well-deserved 5/5.

★★★★★

Tom Bumby

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Gone Girl

Out now on DVD and Blu-ray, Gone Girl is the latest film from director David Fincher. It got rave reviews and a huge amount of hype on its release, but looking at it now is it that good? Is it another stand-out film from Fincher à la Seven or Fight Club? Or is it another The Curious Case of Benjamin Button?

Based on Gillian Flynn’s novel of the same name (Flynn also wrote the screenplay for the film) Gone Girl shows what happens when a marriage falls to pieces and a divorce just isn’t enough. The marriage between Nick (Ben Affleck) and Amy Dunne (Rosamund Pike) is a nasty one, but it didn’t start like that. The film shows us the couple from them meeting, to falling in love and dating. Then we see them slowly begin to fall apart. And then Amy disappears and the signs point at Nick. Saying ANYTHING else would spoil the joy of the film. Watching the twists of the film for the first time is just spectacular. 

Remember when Ben Affleck was a joke? Of course you do, it wasn’t that long ago. Well the guy from Gigli and Daredevil is absolutely excellent in this. He makes a likable protagonist, for a while at least. Because of the twists and turns of Gone Girl it’ll be days after you’ve watched the film that you can actually make up your mind on Affleck’s Nick Dunne. The same goes for Rosamund Pike. She is just astounding. Never would anyone watching Die Another Day back in 2002 have guessed she’d be pulling in a Oscar nominated performance like this. Nick and Amy lie and cheat to each other’s faces and drive the marriage into the ground. The irony of the film is that the Dunne’s really do deserve each other, and Affleck and Pike play messed up extremely well.

The supporting cast is great too. A special mention has to be for Neil Patrick Harris as Desi. Only he could make this creepy, pervy stalker from Amy’s past so watchable and it must have been a step out of his comfort zone for the famously nice guy. Also great is Tyler Perry (yes the Tyler Perry from the god-awful Madea films) as Nick’s lawyer.

From the technical side, the cinematography is superb and the music from Trent Reznor underpins the tension building in the film. One scene in particular when these elements collide in spectacular fashion is a certain scene in a bed. It’s one of the tensest, well built and distressing scenes I’ve seen in recent films. It’s awesome. It’s the scene you’ll remember after the credits are done. Saying anything else would spoil it, as with anything in Gone Girl, but for better or for worse you won’t be looking away.

One criticism I’ve seen being mentioned about Gone Girl is the ending. I liked it, it fit the tone of the film. But some weren’t so keen, but don’t let it put you off. The film is almost 150 minutes long but I have never felt two and a half hours whizz by so quickly. Fincher wastes no time and the movie is all the better for it.

I wish I could have gone into more depth with the plot of Gone Girl, but after you’ve seen it you’ll be happy I was vague. It deserves all the praise it got upon it’s release and I really hope it wins something at the Oscars. It’s horrible, unpleasant but also surprisingly funny at moments. It is also exceptionally well made with every element (music, cinematography, direction) all working simultaneously to make something altogether incredible.

A study in depravity, Gone Girl is not for the timid. But it is excellent. It scores a full 5/5.

★★★★★

Jack Bumby

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Dragon Age: Inquisition Video Review

Check out Adam's thoughts on Dragon Age: Inquisition. Is it a truly epic RPG deserving of the BioWare pedigree? Find out at our YouTube channel or by watching the video below!

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The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D

Despite The Legend of Zelda being such a well know and renowned series- even among people who wouldn't really call themselves “gamers”- Majora's Mask isn't as widely known as other entries. A direct sequel to The Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask was originally released on the Nintendo 64 back in 2000. Whether it was the fact that the Nintendo 64 was failing in terms of sales or that Majora's Mask could only be played while using an Expansion Pack, the game sold considerably less than The Ocarina of Time upon release. So while many know about its existence, I really don't think it has been played by enough people out there. So instead of shelling out for an Nintendo 64, the Expansion Pack that connects to the controller and the game itself... Nintendo have just remade Majora's Mask for the 3DS. Joy!

Developed by Nintendo and out now on 3DS comes The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D, a genuine improvement on an already perfect game, if that's at all possible. The game opens up some time after the end of The Ocarina of Time, with a tired looking Link atop his trusty horse Epona searching for Navi; the little helpful/annoying fairy that stayed by his side during his previous adventure. However, while searching through a forest in Hyrule, Link is ambushed by a Skull Kid, a masked child that wears the titular Majora's Mask on his face. With help from his own faeries, Skull Kid steals both Epona and Link's Ocarina, while also turning Link into a Deku Scrub. After this Link finds himself in the land of Termina, which essentially acts as a parallel universe to Hyrule. Compared to Hyrule the land of Termina is dark, somewhat bleak and faces an impending cataclysmic event- the moon is going slam into the planet in 3 days. Using the power of time travel to stave off planetary destruction and various mysterious masks that will change his abilities, Link must find the Skull Kid and stop the moon from its devastating descent. 

The basis of the gameplay in Majora's Mask 3D essentially follows what The Ocarina of Time and the series as a whole set in place; exploring towns, areas and dungeons, going head-to-head with various enemies and bosses, gradually unlocking new and exciting loot over the course of the game and solving puzzles, while always falling under the guise of the third-person Action-Adventure genre. From chopping down tuffs of grass with your sword, using your bow and arrow in first-person mode to blocking Deku Srcub seeds, at its heart it's the same old Zelda you know and love. However, there are two main additions to gameplay that The Ocarina of Time glanced over that Majora's Mask 3D runs with- time travel and masks.

Now anyone who has played The Ocarina of Time knows that it heavily utilised an awesome time travel mechanic, but Majora's Mask 3D focuses on this concept. With a time limit of 3 days until the moon smashes into the Earth, this translates to around an hour of gameplay. To fend off certain death the player will need to keep reversing time by playing “The Song of Time”, a song learned by Link in The Ocarina of Time. This resets the clock back to 6am on the first day, and though major accomplishments will remain, smaller ones are wiped from existence. This effectively forces you to play the game with time and item management in mind. With a mere hour of game time to play with, you'll find yourself speed running dungeons, hastily putting all acquired Rupees into the bank and nervously trying to beat a boss while the death clock is mere minutes away from reaching zero. It pushes you to play smarter while not completely boring the shit out of you, or make you feel like the game is a chore. Also, once the clock resets virtually every character you previously interacted with will have no knowledge of who you are. This adds an extra layer of atmosphere to the world of Termina, which right from the start is already interesting, creepy and incredibly exciting to explore.

Then you have masks, the other main hook of Majora's Mask 3D. Another idea briefly covered in The Ocarina of Time but expanded upon here greatly, there are 24 obtainable masks in Majora's Mask 3D. Each mask gives Link a unique ability and radically transforms his appearance. However, these masks are not only for an added visual flair, as some masks are vital to progressing through the game. For instance, the Zora mask allows Link to swim faster and breath underwater, the Goron mask gives Link tremendous strength and makes him invulnerable to fire and lava, while the creepy looking Stone mask turns Link invisible.

Additions to gameplay in this updated 3DS version of Majora's Mask are slight but welcomed. Most noticeably are the graphics, which have been given a major overhaul. 3D models are more detailed, textures are a higher resolution and the games draw assistance has been greatly improved. Other improvements come in the form of various game areas that have been expanded or slightly altered, Owl Statues that now permanently save your game, the item system has been reworked, you now have the ability to save more games and, of course, the fact that you can now play the game in stereoscopic 3D. These changes and additions aren't so extreme that the game doesn't look or play like the Majora's Mask you loved back in 2000, but rather just enough to make the game feel new and fresh. I loved the game back in the day, but this remake ticks all the right boxes. Buy it.

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask 3D is an improvement on a perfect game and gets a 5/5.

★★★★★

Denis Murphy

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Criminal Girls: Invite Only

My first foray into... how do I put it... sexually provocative gaming (?), was going to the arcade when I was around 12. With the intention of throwing a few pounds into Killer Instinct and then the 1980's themed Doctor Who pinball machine, those plans came to a halt when I happened upon some Playboy themed arcade game. I forget the name of it, but essentially gameplay boiled down to you having to draw a layer of paint over the image of a Playboy model, all the while being chased by enemies. If you managed to completely cover the image, a piece of the girls clothes/underwear would vanish. The name of the game was to see some naked ladies, so naturally being a curious 12 year old kid, I pumped a good 10 pounds into that game. It was a waste. Hell, even back then as soon as I walked out of that dingy arcade and the cold winter wind hit my face, I knew it was a bloody monumental waste! Since then I don't really get the idea of games that are sexually provocative. I'm all for games being sexy, containing a bit of smut like GTA, but I don't really get games that essentially act as a virtual lap-dance; a fruitless waste of money with nothing to show for it other than an empty wallet. Criminal Girls: Invite Only kind of reminded me of this, as there's a part of the game that's so out there and sleazy that I'm surprised it was even released in the West.

Developed by Imageepoch and out now on Playstation Vita comes Criminal Girls: Invite Only, a game I had a little fun with, but couldn't really immerse myself in it's world mainly because I don't own a Japanese body pillow that I sing sweet Enka music to, amid the dank, heavy and pungent smell of old ramen. Oh well. Criminal Girls: Invite Only is a (kind of) remake of Criminal Girls; a PSP title that never saw a Western release back in 2010. Invite Only is set in hell and puts you in command of 7 girls, with each one representing one of the 7 deadly sins- Lust,  gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride. You know, those 7 things that Kevin Spacey killed people in Se7en over! Anyway, given one last chance of redeeming themselves and escaping hell, the girls are put through 4 trials that will put them to the test. It's up to you to make sure the girls complete the trials and find their way out of internal damnation.

At its heart Invite Only plays out like a mash-up between a JRPG and a dungeon crawler. As the prison warden in charge of these girls in hell, you must lead them through various dungeons and locations. Getting around and exploring these dungeons is actually pretty awesome, as is the combat that accompanies it. Presented from a top-down 2D perspective, levels are nicely designed, visually beautiful at times and extremely varied through Invite Only. From ice levels, old forests dotted with various ruins to some sleek corridor based locations, the game is jam packed full of visual finesse.

As you might expect from a game like this, you'll eventually find yourself in combat with a whole host of bizarre foes. The turn-based combat here stands apart from other JPRGs, especially due to the fact that in Invite Only you can only choose one person to make a move per round. This move can be anything from attacking, using magic to stealing, as in this game each character you're controlling has their own mind about what should be happening during combat. Instead of you having a plethora of attacks and moves to choose from, the girls on your team will simply offer up suggestions on what to do. But don't worry, as you progress in the game you can unlock new attacks and moves, which in turn leads to the girls offering more suggestions, essentially giving you more options on how to fight your battles. Through battling you can master your battle abilities, but it's how these new abilities are obtained that Invite Only is causing a bit of media storm.

This is where the game gets sexually charged. In order to unlock new battle abilities- many of which are utterly essential to progressing through the game- as the warden you'll need to “motivate” the 7 girls. Motivation basically boils down to a mini-game in which you spank, whip, electrocute and generally go 50 Shades of Grey on the girls, who are depicted as scantily clad and veiled in pink mist. This is done by using the PS Vita touch screen, and is the part of the game you won't want to play in public, and it's a part of the game that I became utterly embarrassed by. Don't get me wrong, I'm not outraged by the actual content- after all, these are shitty anime characters, not, you know, real human beings!- but it just comes across as, well, a bit pathetic really. Sitting there in my room, using the touch-screen to whip these girls, and to have my girlfriend walk in and burst out laughing was an odd experience. It just felt weird, not exactly wrong, but just plain old weird. I felt like I needed to shower afterwards, interact with a real female and banish the memory from my mind.

Overall Criminal Girls: Invite Only is not a terrible game. Running around the dungeons is pretty fun, as is the rather unique combat. But despite not being at all outraged by the sexual content, I just felt as if it wasn't needed, and that it kind of dragged down the integrity of an otherwise good game. Without that content it's a passable yet somewhat dull dungeon crawler. With that content it's a passable yet somewhat dull dungeon crawler that I'd be ashamed to play in public, or around any other human being within a radius of 4 miles.

Criminal Girls: Invite Only loses a few marks amid a pile of Japanese body pillows and gets a 2/5.

★★☆☆☆

Denis Murphy

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The Book of Life

Buenos días mis amigos. Out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes The Book of Life, starring Diego Luna, Zoe Saldana and Channing Tatum. It's produced by Guillermo del Toro and directed by Jorge Gutierrez. and is a burrito shaped Kaleidoscope of colour, music, energy and loveliness. Which is terrible because reviewing films that are good, is so much harder than simply hating them.

A bus full of cartoon children arrives at a museum and are greeted by a sexy cartoon lady called Mary Beth (Christina Applegate). She steals an illusionary trick from Labyrinth, or Dark Crystal or one of those, and takes the children into a dark back room where she explains the various stories of Mexican mythology to them. The story of the film revolves around some easily merchandisable toy dolls that she happens to have nearby.

The story is a love story, and concerns two small boys and a young girl and eventually an amusing pig with an amusing bark. The boys, Manolo and Joaquín are in love. Not with each other, but with the prettiest girl in town María (Saldana). The reason Christina Applegate shows them the lives of these two young boys and their potential wife is due to two gods. They have an interest in the affairs of humans as they enjoy betting on events. The Ruler of the Land of the Remembered is La Muerte (Kate del Castillo) who is the wife or something of Xibalba: ruler of the Land of the Forgotten (Ron Perlman). They are basically in charge of a kind of Mexican heaven where everyone is a Mexican skeleton or a hellish Mexican dusty man. One of the things I liked about this film is that the two opposing forces aren’t particularly good or evil. The ‘bad’ guy is a charming but mischievous character, and though he tells fibs you don’t get the feeling that he’s deluded enough to think he’s gonna get away with anything, and he doesn’t do very much harm, except a couple of brief temporary murders.

Manolo, descended from nothing but bullfighters but with a passion for Indie Rock from the 90s and 00s, is representing the passionate romantic kinda guy that loves Radiohead covers more than watching bulls being killed into tacos. Joaquín also represents an attractive man archetype but has a magic evil medal that protects him from harm, but doesn’t protect him from being a sexist prick from time to time in place of genuine charm. The kind’ve person who would definitely put his cock in your face while you were asleep, but you wouldn’t be able to bring yourself to be annoyed at him.

It was around this time that my days of working too much started to catch up on me, my friend who I watch these things with hadn’t made it so I had no one with me. Usually there’s someone with me to ensure that I’d be too embarrassed to fall asleep in case I drool on them. From here on in the film is five times as colourful as ever before. Danny Trejo appears at one point because it’s a film about Mexicans and then Ice Cube appears as an amusing but disappointing cameo as a friendly yellow santa man with a beard made out of clouds. It felt miscast for me, primarily because I can’t figure out why anyone in Mexico would fabricate a religion with a token black guy playing the unusual role of token white guy in an otherwise predominantly Mexican heaven.

I’m not sure what happened at the end really as I say I started to dribble and black out but I assume it was a happy ending, and I left feeling like it was an animated, good natured love story with a supernatural twist aimed at neither adults or children in particular. Like Hugo or [some sort’ve lazy pedophile joke]. I get the feeling it’s called the Book of Life, and not the ballad of Maria and Her Two Stalkers so they can have a different story for a sequel which I would welcome. Kids are idiots but this film was awesome.

Era Muy Bueno, 4/5.

★★★★☆

Dave Roberts

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Obvious Child

Out now on Blu-ray and DVD is a comedy film about abortion by the name of Obvious Child. It stars Jenny Slate as a comedienne who works in a book shop and has a series of unfortunate events occur to her, but this one wasn’t allowed into the Lemony Snicket stories because of all the abortion stuff and jokes about vaginas and the like.  It’s a pretty awesome film though, so I do encourage you go and see it even if you agree with Christopher Hitchens and believe that women are intrinsically not funny.

After Donna Stern (Slate) gets dumped by her boyfriend backstage at a gig in front of lots of people, she finds out that he has been cheating on her, leaving her feeling deeply lost and heartbroken.  With no knowledge of what to do other than to sit around crying all the time she decides to throw herself into her work and comedy which is made difficult by her sudden discovery that she has lost her job. This unfortunately makes her comedy not funny and she just sits around wanting to die, but instead choosing to drink too much with her gay friend Gabe who picks out men for her at the bar. This leads to her meeting a guy called Max (Jake Lacy).

As is the rule when having angry rebound sex while incredibly drunk,  somebody in the middle of the sex somewhere loses something which causes some things to happen but neither of the sexers remember what they are because they were drunk. So Donna finds herself single, jobless and pregnant. Pregnant from a guy who turns out to be her mothers student. She decides to have an abortion which in these circumstances is a bit like throwing a coin into a well and making a wish, but instead it’s throwing bits of barely conscious matter into a… I assume a jar for mad scientists to experiment with and making a wish. She accidentally treats Max like shit a lot and things start to go weird. But ultimately they are nice, real and strange.

The whole film deals with the subject of abortion very maturely and demonstrates one of the many situations that you can get into where you should be allowed to murder a child. Another one of course is when they stick sweets to your new curtains, or steal video game boxes from my work.

It is a very touching film, intense but also very beautiful and I would urge you to go see it if you like things that make you feel good.

Obvious Child is a beautiful non-judgmental look at abortion and womenhood gets 4/5.

★★★★☆

Dave Roberts

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Teslagrad

Now matter how far the games industry advances forward in terms of A.I, graphic fidelity and hardware, there will always be room for simpler, more stripped back pieces of entertainment. Personally this fact hit home during the era that surrounded the original Playstation. Here you had developers delving into the world of polygon based 3D games, but you still had a few that used the most basic tools at their disposal to great effect. I'm thinking of games like Rayman and The Adventures of Lomax; titles that didn't need cutting edge technology to tell simple yet effective stories. Teslagrad is one of those games. In an age where the gaming community is constantly beaten over the head by hardware, frames-per-second chatter and which system is “better”, Teslagrad falls in line with recent titles like Limbo and Fez, an offers gamers a superb experience that puts gameplay over graphics.

Developed by Rain Games and out now on Wii U, Playstation 4, Playstation 3, PS Vita and PC comes Teslagrad, a game that, beyond its rather short lifespan, can't really be faulted. The game begins with the protagonist as a baby being cradled by his father, a moustached guy with a mysterious golden rod attached to his back. The father leaves the child with his wife, and walks away with a worried look on his face. The game then cuts to a few years later, and after the protagonists' house is overrun with guards, he escapes out the back entrance and eventually finds himself inside Teslagrad, the large mysterious tower situated in the heart of the city. The entire game is set within Teslagrad, and as the boy you must uncover the secrets behind the tower. The set-up is pretty straight forward and how the plot unfolds is rather predictable, but it's all pulled off extremely well. There's no dialogue or text in Teslagrad, as the game is essentially told through actions, character expressions and 2D puppet show-like plays, and Rain Games executes this difficult task with ease.

Teslagrad plays out like an old school game, as it's best described as a 2D platforming game that relies heavily on puzzle solving. Though for a lot of the game you'll be running around, dodging enemies, climbing and jumping from platform to platform, Teslagrad's make-up inherently lies with puzzle solving, which focuses on the positive and negative charges of magnetism, or as it's visually depicted within the game- red and blue. Different puzzles throughout the tower can only be solved once you unlock certain powers, and these powers include the ability to change the polarity of an object, changing the polarity of yourself, walk on ceilings to avoid traps and even teleport through solid objects. From the puzzles that utilize only one power at any one given moment, to the harder puzzles that demand you to master and use numerous abilities within the space of 30 seconds, Teslagrad is smart, fun and is one of those games that replaces weapons and death with science and knowledge.

As I said before, they are enemies in Teslagrad but you're technically unable to fight them. That isn't the point of Teslagrad. In fact, the closest thing to actually killing enemies comes about during the 5 boss fights you'll find during the game. But even then it's more about science and utilising your environment, rather than killing something in cold blood. Hell, there's even little or no penalty when you die in the game- that's how inviting Teslagrad can be! Visually it's beautiful too, with graphics looking hand painted, sometimes a little naturally rough around the edges, and always brim full of charm, soul and heart. It all comes together to create an utterly unique and satisfying experience that is a testament to how important gameplay is over graphics.

Throughout Teslagrad you're primary goal is to find 36 scrolls strewn across the tower. However, while this is the focus of your character, Teslagrad is often content with just letting you explore its semi-open world, solve puzzles and get lost in the games vision. It's not that the story doesn't count for anything, it does, but Teslagrad's simple yet effective gameplay mechanics entranced me more than the story ever could. Overall, Teslagrad may not shine as much as previous indie titles that have exploded onto the scene in recent years, but it's more than worth your time.

Teslagrad gets a magnetically positive 5/5.

★★★★★

Denis Murphy

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