Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead

Since the infectious success of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s romantic zombie comedy (or “rom-zom-com”) Shaun of the Dead back in 2004, a horde of other zombie- and horror-comedies have shuffled onto the scene to have a bash at replicating – or at least piggybacking on – that success. Unfortunately for me, an entire decade slipped by without a horror comedy satisfying my itch for something as special as Shaun – something that could deliver well-rounded, likeable characters and emotional punches as well as, y’know, comedy and horror.

The trailer for Kiah Roache-Turner’s low-budget, Aussie zom-com Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead didn’t do much to convince me it was any different. For just over two minutes, I watched typical Aussie blokes doing typical Aussie-blokey things (swearing, being laidback, drinking beer, speaking in Australian accents, etc.) in a zombie apocalypse setting. It looked decent enough – maybe as good as, say, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil or John Dies at the End, which I scored 4/5 last year – but definitely not the zom-com I’d been waiting for. A few minutes in, after a stellar intro that rivalled Disney-Pixar’s Up in terms of heart-wrenching emotional impact (probably a weird comparison, but bear with me), I’d started to reassess. Could Wyrmwood really be the best thing since sliced Pegg, after all?

Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead is out now on Blu-ray and DVD, and tells the story of Barry (Jay Gallagher), a typical guy living with his wife Annie (Catherine Terracini) and daughter Meganne (Meganne West) in the Australian outback. Their life together is pretty good – not idyllic, exactly, but definitely happy – until a meteor shower somehow unleashes an airborne virus, and Barry’s badass sister Brooke (Bianca Bradey) calls to let him know she’s being attacked by zombies in her garage. Barry kits his wife and daughter out with gas masks and bundles them into the car, but they don’t get far before it becomes obvious it’s too late; Annie and Meganne have already succumbed to the virus, and Barry is forced to finish them off with a nail gun to stop them attacking him. It’s the first of many moments in the film that manages to be hauntingly scary and hauntingly sad at the same time, and you can feel it hanging over Barry for the rest of the movie, guiding everything he says and does.

Barry teams up with a group of other Aussie blokes, including Benny (Leon Burchill), an aboriginal hunter with his own horrifying backstory to tell, while Barry’s sister Brooke ends up on the wrong side of a military unit and has to endure a series of truly twisted experiments at the hands of a deranged scientist (Berryn Schwerdt).Wyrmwood is a smartly-written film, bolstered by some great acting and peppered with genuinely original, intriguing twists to the zombie movie format. I got scared, I wrung my hands, I said “no no no no” under my breath, and I genuinely felt for the characters when things went wrong. And yes, I did laugh: The banter between the main characters and the easygoing way they deal with their situation is perfect, and the shambling, ineffectual zombies themselves deliver some light relief in between bouts of snarling and biting.

So yes, as far as I’m concerned, Wyrmwood really is the best zom-com since Shaun of the Dead and – this is the really important bit – more than original enough to stand on its own merits as the definitive zom-com of the 2010s. That’s no mean feat, considering this was Kiah Roache-Turner’s directorial debut – and the fact he only had a tiny, roughly £80,000 budget to play with. Kiah Roache-Turner and his producer brother Tristan are currently working on a film they’ve described as an “R-Rated Ghostbusters”, which will be followed by Wyrmwood 2 in early 2017. And I for one can’t wait to see what they’ll come up with next.

Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead gets a perfect score of 5/5.

★★★★★

Mike Lee

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Deception IV: The Nightmare Princess

The Deception series is largely still unknown in the West. Kicking off with Tecmo's Deception: Invitation to Darkness in 1996, the series, until last years Deception IV: Blood Ties, was only released in Japanese and America. Poor Europeans such as myself never got a chance to try out the series for ourselves. Though we did manage to get our hands on Trapt, a Playstation 2 spin-off of the franchise, the main series is only something that has been open to us in recent years. Last year I reviewed Blood Ties. I really enjoyed it, and now comes an enhanced version of that game.

Developed by Tecmo Koei and out now on Playstation 4, Playstation 3 and Playstation Vita comes Deception IV: The Nightmare Princess, a great, funny, bloody and over-the-top game that makes me a little sad for missing all the previous games in the series back in the day. The plot is pretty straightforward, and has you assume the role of Satan's daughter, Laegrinna. Laegrinna wants to effectively resurrect her father, and in order to do this she'll need to harvest souls. However, souls don't really grow on trees, so to get them she'll need to lure people into her death traps. Laegrinna does this with the help of three demons, who by the way are as equally undressed as she is. There is a second story mode in this updated version of Blood Ties, but we'll get into that soon.

The Nightmare Princess is all about laying traps. The three demons that help out Laegrinna effectively represent the three different types of traps you can set. The three types of traps on offer here are elaborate, sadistic, and humiliating. Elaborate traps are the ones you'll want to place down in order to kick off a chain reaction, sadistic ones deal out the most damage, while humiliating traps are, well, humiliating to the person who walks into them, while also being pretty funny. Traps are plentiful and diverse in terms of what they do too. From rolling flaming boulders, banana peels to slip on, a circular saw, a sharp Scythe, a small black hole and an iron maiden to squeeze enemies into, the traps in The Nightmare Princess go from the horrible to the hilarious. It's up to you what type you're into, but with around 100 traps on offer, you've plenty to choose from.

Upon starting a level you're placed in a room. Each room you play in have different layouts and obstacles, and its up to you to use each given level layout to your advantage. With the flick of a switch you can quickly jump into an overhead view, and this is where you'll start laying down your traps. But when playing The Nightmare Princess you're not just aimlessly putting traps down, instead your ultimate goal is to create a chain reaction between traps. The bigger the better though, as for some of the later enemies that will invade your level, they often need a lot of damage inflicted on them before they keel over. So this means there's a great level of strategy involved in The Nightmare Princess, as you'll often find yourself creating intricate configurations of traps in the hope of one giant chain reaction of death. It's doable even for the stronger enemies, but it takes more skill and precision than you may assume.

Another side to gameplay is when you're directly in charge of Laegrinna, and once you do this it cuts to a third-person view of her. From here you'll need to directly lure your opponents into your traps. This gives you a nice perspective of the action down on the ground, as well as giving you more control over which enemies fall into which trap. One nice little feature in The Nightmare Princess is that once an enemy walks into a room, you're able to read up a little bit of a back-story on them. Back-stories can vary in terms of content, but there were a few times in which I felt pretty bad for the person I was ultimately leading to their death.

The Nightmare Princess will offer you around 9 hours of gameplay during its main story mode, but on the side it also gives you 100 challenge missions, a sandbox mode and a level editor in which you can create your own missions and challenges, and ultimately share them online. Finally, the biggest enhancement to gameplay that The Nightmare Princess has over Blood Ties is the addition of another story mode. This new story mode focuses on the character of Velguirie, another daughter of the devil who, compared to Laegrinna, is more evil and wicked. Her story mode is a little more free-form than Laegrinna's, and can even branch off intro different directions at key points during the plot. If you've never played a Deception game before, buy this game. It's funny, smart and violently hilarious. If you have and already own Blood Ties, I think there's enough new content here to warrant another purchase.

Deception IV: The Nightmare Princess captures my bloody imagination with a 4/5.

★★★★☆

Denis Murphy

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X-Men: Days of Future Past – The Rogue Cut

When it was first released on Blu-Ray and DVD a good few months ago, I reviewed X-Men: Days of Future Past, the seventh film in the X-Men franchise. When I saw it in the cinema and once again on Blu-Ray, I really did love every second of it. It essentially undid X-Men: The Last Stand, the hugely disappointing ending to the original X-Men trilogy. With director Bryan Singer currently filming X-Men: Apocalypse, and the series seemingly back on track in terms of quality, an alternative version of Days of Future Past has just landed, a version that essentially reinserts the character of Rogue back into the film. Is it worth your money? Read on.

Directed by Bryan Singer and out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes X-Men: Days of Future Past – The Rogue Cut, an alternative version that makes a better film by adding a tiny bit of content. With the added and changed content here, the plot remains the exact same. The Rogue Cut presents us with a bleak future in which robots have enslaved the world, and has systemically began wiping out mutants. With various members of the X-Men dead (R.I.P Beast, my homie), Professor X has cooked up a plan, and on top of this plan being a shot in the dark, it's literally their last hope for survival. His plan is to send Wolverine's mind back in time with the help of Kitty Pride's powers. Once Wolverine's mind jumps back to the 70's, he is instructed to get the help of a young Professor X and Magneto, two men which at the point were complete enemies. With help on his side Wolverine must then try and prevent Mystique from assassinating military scientist Bolivar Trask, whose death sets events in motion that ultimately lead to the bleak future.

Chances are you've already seen Days of Future Past, so I'm not going to bang on about the film and then simply make a mention of what's been changed. Basically The Rogue Cut adds the character of Rogue back into the film, whose appearance in the film was edited out pretty late in the game. In the regular film Kitty Pride sends Wolverine's mind back in time, and later into the film she, thanks to Wolverine who's reacting to himself in the past seeing a young William Stryker, stabs her in the side with his adamantium claws. Kitty bleeds out for the rest of the film, but manages to keep Wolverine in the past. In The Rogue Cut it's a bit different, but virtually the same. Kitty is once again stabbed by Wolverine, but it looks like she won't make it. Her death will essentially sever Wolverine from his past self, thereby screwing up their plan. But there's one mutant that can help, one who can take Kitty Prides power from her dying body- Rogue. Iceman informs Professor X and Magneto that he believes Rogue is being experimented inside the old X-Mansion, Professor X's previous digs. So with that Iceman, Magneto and Professor X head to the X-Mansion to rescue Rogue. Though she does appear in place for Kitty Pride's character after that, the only big change is the scene in which she's saved from the X-Mansion.

According to director Bryan Singer, he cut Rogue's scene because “it was an embarrassment of riches and it was just one of the things that had to go”. I'd call it an embarrassment of believability if anything, as I really did wonder if Professor X basically said to a dying Kitty Pride, “listen Kitty, me and the lads have to leave Moscow and fly to America to do something. Back in around 12 hours, K?”. But no, they just appear at the X-Mansion. As far as how good the actual rescue scene is, it's pretty damn good. Much like how the end of the film keeps cutting back from the future and the past, this segment is inter-cut with Magneto in the past reclaiming his helmet. In fact, one nice tiny addition to that past Magneto scene is how he now, for a brief moment, focuses in on the Nazi coined owned by Sebastian Shaw in X-Men: First Class. It's a great nod to the character of Shaw, someone who was instrumental in Magneto's evolution. The X-Mansion rescue scene is pretty awesome and manages to show off Magneto, Iceman, Professor X and Rogue in action, and it all makes for a pretty welcomed change to the film. It also helps to add to the Kitty Pride/Iceman/Rogue love triangle. Since X-Men: The Last Stand, Kitty Pride and Iceman have gotten together, and though it doesn't dwell too much on this whole dynamic between them all, it does nod to their past together.

Apart from the fact that it then shows Rogue aiding Wolverine to stay in the past, The Rogue Cut is identical to Days of Future Past. Personally I think this cut is better than Days of Future Past as, beyond the obvious problem of how fast the team got to the X-Mansion in the first place so quickly, the presence of Rogue helps to tie it into the original films more. From her small interactions with Magneto, Iceman and even her acknowledgement of a comatose Wolverine, it just feels right to have her in the film. Then again, assuming you already have Days of future Past, should you shell out for this new release? It purely depends on what kind of fan you are. If the idea of seeing The Rogue Cut peeks your interest and narratively makes sense in terms of what came before it, buy it. If not, well, I don't think you'll find much in The Rogue Cut that will matter to you.

X-Men: Days of Future Past – The Rogue Cut is better than Days of Future Past. 5/5.

★★★★★

Denis Murphy

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Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter

At the very start of the 1996 Cohen brothers film Fargo it reads, “This is a true story”. When I saw the film back in the late 90's and up until I read otherwise on the internet in around 2005, I always just assumed it was- even partially- based on real events. I took the opening text at face value as I had no reason to think otherwise. Why is Fargo important to this review?, I hear you say. Well, back in 2001 a woman from Tokyo, Japan named Takako Konishi was found dead in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. She committed suicide by taking a lethal mixture of alcohol and sedatives. Through putting together the events leading up to her death, a piece of misheard information led to the urban legend saying that Takako died while trying to find the briefcase of money shown in Fargo, the one which Steve Buscemi's character buries by the side of the road. This urban legend made the news, and while everyone was focusing on this strange tale, everyone overlooked the deceased woman herself, and ultimately what led to her very sad end. Though this film is based upon that urban legend, it changes all the names of those involved. However, it isn't some retelling of Takako's story. It's respectful and moving, and a really great overall watch.

Directed by David Zellner and out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter, a film that while doesn't reach the heights it should have, is a wonderful little drama about isolation and loneliness. Kumiko works at an office but doesn't like it. In fact, it seems she doesn't like anything that isn't her pet rabbit, Bunzo. While exploring in a cave she comes across a buried copy of Fargo on VHS, the aforementioned Cohen brothers film. She brings it home to her small messy apartment and watches it. Though grainy and fuzzy due to damage, “This is a true story” can still be read at the title sequence. It's from here that she looks through the film and finds the scene in which Steve Buscemi's character is burying the money. She takes it as fact, and after finding a map of the real-life Fargo and making a drawing of the precise location, Kumiko leaves Tokyo behind in order to travel to America to find the treasure in the city of Fargo. Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter is a unique and sad tale of someone feeling utterly alone.

Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter's gem is Rinko Kikuchi, who plays the character of Kumiko herself. She's wonderful in this film, and she plays Kumiko as such a troubled, lonely, sad and hurt person who won't look anyone in the eye, turns away from help and is ultimately a very sympathetic character. There are many scenes in Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter in which Rinko's performance just tugs at the heartstrings. None of these moments come across as hokey or forced, as instead they're open, honest and moving. The other people Kumiko interacts with in the film are all pretty good, especially the character David Zellner himself plays. Just like the film Fargo, the people of Minnesota here are varied, charming and interesting, which each one clearly having their very own unique story. There's light humour peppered into the film too, but not too much that Kumiko's personal story becomes a comedy. In fact, much like Kumiko herself, the blend of comedy and drama here is lifelike, and the writing and characters come together to make a very bitter-sweet film.

The visuals and music are fantastic too. From the opening 30 minutes that take place in Tokyo with its narrow streets, lively scenery and massive cityscape, to the latter part of the film in Minnesota that's drenched in white snow and sparse in terms of people and buildings, cinematographer Sean Porter does a excellent job here. Throughout the film there's just such a lovely sense of atmosphere, and this is helped along by the breathtaking score by The Octopus Project. Their score is simple but impressive, and really is one of those parts of the film that stand out the most. Through the films visuals, music and leading performance by Rinko, Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter finds a strong and unique voice.

However, as the credits rolled a part of me was disappointed. Though the film does noticeably lose a bit of direction after Kumiko leaves Japan, the film ends on a very surprisingly dark note. I can enjoy dark stories, I really can, but after interacting with so many happy and charming people throughout her adventure, I was surprised by Kumiko's lack of character development. It didn't ruin the film for me, but I guess I saw it all ending differently for her. Then again, much like the real life story of  Takako Konishi, Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter forgoes a classic Hollywood ending in place for something a little bleaker, perhaps to strongly highlight the damage loneliness can do to a person. Loneliness is a powerful thing, especially to a fragile person in a strange land,  hell bent on a quest that was doomed even before it began.

Kumiko, the Treasure Hunter is smart, moving and impressive, 4/5.

★★★★☆

Denis Murphy

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The Voices

Rom-com guys always try and reinvent themselves. It has worked before for many actors out there, what with Matthew McConaughey going from a generic shirtless handsome dude to an Oscar winning actor that is currently one of Hollywood's best talents. It worked for him. Hell, it also worked for Bradley Cooper, Channing Tatum and Ben Stiller, all of which have given us tremendous work since their very cardboard acting origins. Ryan Reynolds has been trying to do this on and off for the past few years, but every time he pulls himself out of the rom-com quagmire, he just flops right back in. This latest film is not a rom-com, but though he's tried to distance himself from the genre quite a bit before, this is just going to extremes. Also, it's kinda shit.

Directed Marjane Satrapi and out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes The Voices, a film that thinks it's smart, unique and interesting, but ends up being neither of those things. The Voices centres around Jerry Hickfang, a nice dude who works in a factory in a small town. He's nice to his co-workers, his boss and pretty much everyone loves him. That might be down to the fact that he's played by Ryan Reynolds, but either way, he's everyone's favourite quirky dude. At home he has a dog and cat, both of which talk to him. Alas, Jerry isn't right in the head due to some trauma in his past, and this is only amplified by the fact that he doesn't take his medication. Jerry's life takes a bad turn when, after hitting a deer on the road alongside his drunken and very British co-worker Fiona, Jerry “accidentally” stabs her. Laying there in the woods suffering from a stab wound, Jerry puts her out of her misery by stabbing her a good few times. He then chops her up and keeps her head in his fridge. Her severed head also talks to him, by the way. Between Fiona's head, his cat and dog telling him to do different things, Jerry is torn apart between killing again and handing himself in.

The Voices doesn't know what it wants to be. On one hand it's a bit of a quirky comedy, while on the other it's a very dark and violent horror. If you check out its Wikipedia page it's billed as a “psychological horror comedy”. I guess you could call it a dark comedy too, but to be perfectly honest, the light and dark sides to The Voices just don't mesh together at all. Seriously. What's even worse is the fact that the funny and light parts just aren't, well, funny. Without successful light element to The Voices, it ends up coming across as far too bleak for its own good. It tries to make itself some kind of quirky indie comedy, but fails to offer anything but a disturbing premise and a failed opportunity. You know, that kind of quirky comedy, the one that's filled with bright colours, bizarre nonsensical moments, random camera shots, and pseudo-religious imagery that will have certain viewers relentlessly tipping their fedoras.

The script is also pretty shite too, with a few lines coming across as genuinely cringey. Just after Jerry kills Fiona, his cat is trying to convince him that murder is something natural, and it utters the line, “the only time I feel truly alive is when I'm killing”. I cringed hard at this, as if I was reading back across old forum posts I made back in 2002, or listening to an especially edgy track by Linkin Park. The film is dotted with crap like this, and considering The Voices is directed by Marjane Satrapi (creator of the wonderful Persepolis) and written by Michael R. Perry (writer on Millennium and American Gothic), it's just not that good at all. Though Ryan Reynolds is admittedly fine as Jerry, he just doesn't get chance to shine and break out from his humble rom-com beginnings like he did with 2010's excellent Buried. The Voices tries too hard to shed his image as a rom-com guy and fails miserably.

Overall I didn't like The Voices. I'm sure plenty of people will enjoy it though. I'm sure those people will break down all the hokey abstract imagery in the film, and ultimately come to the opinion that it's some kind of masterpiece. The big kicker for me came at the end (light spoiler to follow!) when Jerry starts to dance with his victims alongside Jesus Christ. It's at this point that I groaned and rolled my eyes, fully aware that right now some dude out there is seeing this crap as high art, while his sips his imported German beer from an old mason jar. That's not me. I like tea. I like tea and good films. The Voices is not a good film.

The Voices is up its own arse and gets a 1/5.

★☆☆☆☆

Denis Murphy

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CeX @ MCM Manchester Comic Con 2015

Yup folks, we’re coming to MCM Manchester Comic Con 2015! You can drop by to say “Hi!”, check out our treasure trove of goodies, and of course buy, sell & exchange to your heart's content. Watch our live video stream below tomorrow or check out our photo feed of cosplay aficionados who've visited our store on day 1 and day 2. Vote for your favourites on the CeX Facebook page by liking and the top 3 will win a £250, £150 or £50 voucher! You can also see what's happening via our Instagram feed and Twitter.

Broadcast live streaming video on Ustream

Held at Manchester Central (Formerly The GMEX), MCM Manchester Comic Con is the North's biggest festival of popular culture and all things delightfully nerdy. It's the perfect place to indulge your inner geek!

MotoGP 15

I've talked about my previous dislike for racing games on the blog before, and though I did generally used to hate them back in the day, I did like a few if I'm being honest. I loved the likes of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, Road Rash and Skitchin', though those last two are kind of illegal “sports”, right? Anyway, I loved the hell out of stuff like that, so when MotoGP 15 popped up to review for the blog, I jumped at the chance to play it. In theory it's essentially the same as Road Rash, right? Well, without the ability to smack a cop in the fact with a steel chain, of course.

Developed by Milestone S.r.l. and out now on Playstation 4, Playstation 3, Xbox One, Xbox 360 and PC comes MotoGP 15, another yearly release of the MotoGP series that, while good, doesn't really improve upon MotoGP 14 much. This is the part where I usually dish into the plot of the game I'm reviewing, but there ain't no plot here. If there is a plot it's that you play a dude who rides on a bike. The end. Joking aside, in career mode MotoGP 15 puts you in the shoes of an unknown biker as they claw their way from the bottom of the leader board to the top. It's all really mundane stuff really, but people who play sports games aren't really seeking a plot though, as they're more interested in that thing called, you know, gameplay!

However, before you even get a feel for the gameplay you'll quickly notice MotoGP 15's visuals. For a game that you'll most likely play on a current-generation console, the tracks don't particularly jump out at you. From the outset you'll often notice that locations are rather bland, and though they do tend to look much better during heavy rain and other snazzy weather effects, it's just not up to par with other games in the genre. In fact, Ride, a similar game released this year and even developed by the very same team as MotoGP 15, looks far, far better than what's on offer here. It's not terrible by any stretch of the imagination, but it's certainly not what you're probably expecting. That said, the bikes do look pretty nice during a race, and with the added options of being able to customize both your rider and your bike, the game does have its fair share of unique visual flair.

Handling of the bikes are pretty great across the board. From those moments where your competitors are in your dust, or taking the last corner on pole position during your final lap to times when you're literally neck and neck with a guy, MotoGP 15 gives you a great sense of all the glory, tense and heart pounding moments that go hand-in-hand with the sport. It goes without saying that all the bikes included in MotoGP 15 feel vastly different from one another, and if you're starting off in career mode, you'll find yourself in Moto3 riding a rather disappointing bike. But fear not, because as you rise the ranks in MotoGP 15 from Moto3, to Moto3 and then MotoGP, you'll find yourself being able to use increasingly faster and more powerful bikes. Though MotoGP 15 veers away from the insane realism that Ride dived into, I actually really enjoyed the slightly arcade-like take on the racing. It's by no means a simple racer, but it isn't as punishing as other games out there. For instance, there's a nice little feature that essentially lets you reverse time, meaning that during gameplay if you make a mistake, you can instantly turn back time and pick up from an earlier moment before you screwed up.

Overall MotoGP 15 doesn't do a lot that MotoGP 14 didn't already offer you. If you're new to the series I'd suggest you give it a go, but if you've played previous MotoGP games or even Milestone's Ride earlier this year, I'd say give it a miss. What it does it does nicely, but with bland visuals and slightly repetitive gameplay hampering its achievements, it's just not as good as it should be.

MotoGP 15 comes in third place with a 3/5.

★★★☆☆

Denis Murphy

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Mortdecai

I don’t like Johnny Depp. I know, it’s still a rather controversial thing to say, but I stand by it. He’s impressed me in the past, I’ll admit – I enjoy his earlier films like Ed Wood, Donnie Brasco and to a certain extent Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas. But in recent years, he’s just become the go-to guy for slightly unusual and quirky characters in slightly unusual and quirky films. Although this is where he’s most successful and disappointingly this is what people want, for me this is where Depp is his most frustrating. His insistence on playing these bonkers characters so frequently has almost made him a parody of himself. So, with his latest effort Mortdecai out now on DVD & Blu-ray, is he continuing this trend? 

Yes. Yes he bloody is. David Koepp, the once great man who wrote the screenplay for Jurassic Park before throwing away any artistic integrity for a few bucks writing films like the fourth Indiana Jones and Ricky Gervais vehicle Ghost Town, directs Mortdecai. Give it up Koepp. Hollywood isn’t for you, buddy. Mortdecai, based on the books by Kyril Bonfiglioli, tells the story of upper class twit Charlie Mortdecai (Depp), art dealer and rogue. I don’t even want to talk about the plot because there’s raging to be had about the production, but in a nutshell, Charlie goes on an adventure to recover a stolen painting rumoured to be the key to finding a load of Nazi gold. Marketed (ridiculously) and delivered as a comedy, Mortdecai is anything but. It’s more of a horror, because it truly frightens me how bad this film is. Alongside Depp in the cast most notably are Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor, Paul Bettany and Jeff Goldblum. Shame on you all for being involved. Especially you, Goldblum. A slap on the wrist for you.

Mortdecai thinks it’s a film of immense style. It’s not. In fact, it is painfully unstylish and cringe worthy in its delivery. Trying to stand out with its own style identity like Sin City or Watchmen, it is difficult to watch without asking “are you serious?”. The film is trying to have a somewhat 60s caper feel, but with every attempt at this style, you’ll find yourself putting you head in your hands. Or, to use the parlance of our times, facepalming. The film feels completely amateur in its production and cheaply made, despite a reported budget of $60 million. I imagine $59 million of that went on paying Depp.

Furthermore, the attempts at humour are completely misguided, with every single joke falling completely flat with a thud. The main issue behind that is Depp’s performance. He is abysmal as the eponymous twat Charlie Mortdecai, delivering the most embarrassingly poor performance of his career to date. His character is one of the most unlikeable protagonists I think I’ve ever seen on screen. Like I said, I’ve never been a fan of Depp. But I get that a lot of people like his quirkiness, and for some roles it really works. Not here. It doesn’t seem as though his heart is in it, as it was in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

Quite frankly, Mortdecai is an offensively bad effort from all involved and an insult to cinema. I wasted 90 minutes of my life on this utter tripe so you don’t have to. That’s my job. Whatever you do in this life, do not watch Mortdecai. I wouldn’t wish a viewing of this on my worst enemy. Watching Fifty Shades of Grey again sounds like heaven in comparison to this shit.

Mortdecai is one of the worst films I’ve ever seen, and just barely earns 1/5. What can I say, I’m feeling generous.

★☆☆☆☆

Sam Love

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The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

I’ll admit, I rather enjoyed the first Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Sure, it wasn’t a perfect film, nor was it trying to be. But it was a fun, heart-warming little story about old age and cultural differences. And I wasn’t alone in enjoying it – the film went on to be a surprise box office hit, with reported takings of approximately $135 million against its $10 million budget. So, it comes as no surprise that a sequel was made, which is out now on DVD & Blu-ray.

John Madden returns to direct The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, a disappointingly underwhelming sequel that fails to justify its own existence. Now firstly, this sequel is purely made for people who have seen the first film so I shan’t waste any time describing the story of the The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – I can only assume that if you’re here to read this, you’re familiar with the characters and the premise. I would usually use this paragraph in my reviews to outline the plot of the film I’ll be discussing, but The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel doesn’t seem to really have much of one. From what I gathered, the main plot of this sequel was the plan to expand the hotel’s business by purchasing a second building – reflected in the title. But on the whole the film felt made up of deleted scenes from the first film, with a large amount of short and silly subplots – the worst one being based around the character of Norman believing he has unintentionally put a hit out on his girlfriend.  

As in the first film, the cast are brilliant. Maggie Smith steals the show again as the bitter and cynical old Muriel, who hides a heart of gold beneath her rough exterior. Judi Dench shows up to play Judi Dench again, Bill Nighy is the same old bumbling charmer, Ronald Pickup is the same borderline pervert and Celia Imrie the same borderline old slag. The older cast clearly relish these roles and seem to be having a great time playing them again. Dev Patel returns too and amps the annoyingness of his character up to 11, but you can’t stay mad at him because you can tell he’s loving it so much. I wish I enjoyed watching the film as the cast clearly enjoyed making it. Richard Gere is in it too, but I don’t think he knows that. He seems a little confused by it all. Bless him.

As discussed, the main issue with The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is the plot, or lack thereof. This issue could lie with the target audience. After the success of the first film in this particular audience bracket, the sequel feels more aimed at an elderly audience than the first. The lack of plot, the cheesier jokes, the happier feel and lack of death; this is something that has far more to enjoy for someone like my lovely old nan than me. But another problem is the length! Clocking in at two hours, the film reeeeeally drags. It felt like it was wrapping up and finishing about 10 times! But every time it did, another little subplot began and you knew you weren’t free yet.

There’s really not a lot to say about this film, because there isn’t anything in it worth discussing. The only good things about it – the cast, the location, etc. – were all present in the first film. There’s nothing here at all to make the film stand out, or feel any different to the first. The rule of sequels is to be bigger and better. The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is neither.

I wanted to like The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. As I said, I found a lot to like in the first film and was looking forward to seeing the characters again. But the lack of any real narrative drive or any decent laughs just made it feel desperate, forced and unnecessary.

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel should close its doors. We certainly don’t need to see a third. 2/5.

★★☆☆☆

Sam Love

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God of War 3 Remastered

I've enjoyed the entire God of War series. Though the series has featured stunning levels, incredible bosses and really iconic moments throughout its seven adventures, the final game in the series, God of War 3, stands out as its greatest achievement. So it's no real shocker that the game has been remastered for the Playstation 4. However, considering that this “remaster” doesn't exactly offer anything new that the Playstation 3 release didn't already have, is it worth your money?

Developed by SCE Santa Monica Studio and remastered by Wholesale Algorithms and out now on Playstation 4 comes God of War III Remastered, a last-gen game that is better than most current-gen games out there. At the end of God of War 2, Kratos, after finding out that he is the son of Zeus, declares that the reign of the gods is over, and with the mighty Titans as his army, directly attacks Mount Olympus. It was an epic, epic ending, and God of War 3 Remastered thankfully doesn't jerk the player around by breaking away from this action. God of War 3 Remastered starts with the attack of Olympus, as Kratos gives one final push to dethrone the Gods, destroy them and vanquish Zeus. After the deaths of his child and wife, and all the terrible shit that the Gods have done to him since, Kratos is hell bent of toppling the Gods. It's an incredible plot, and God of War 3 Remastered turns all the action up to 11.

God of War 3 Remastered essentially plays the same as God of War 2, and places you in the sandals of Kratos, the demigod that wishes to exact vengeance on the Gods themselves. It's a hack-and-slash at heart, though it does offer up its fair share of exploration and puzzle solving. However, before any of that stuff is explored, combat is the key to this game. Kratos' default weapon are the Blades of Exile, blades which hang from his forearms on chains. These will be your main go-to weapon throughout your time with God of War 3 Remastered, and they offer up fast combat and the ability to dish out all kinds of combos. But the beauty with any God of War game is the fact that they never limit the player in terms of weaponry. In fact, just like every other game in the series, the alternative weapons in God of War 3 Remastered are incredibly different from each other, which in turn offer up gameplay and fighting styles that are vastly different from each other. The other unlockable weapons on offer are the Claws of Hades, Nemesis Whip, and the Nemean Cestus. The Claws of Hades allow Kratos to summon the dead, the Nemean Cestus are gigantic and powerful fist-like gauntlets that smash their way through foes, while the Nemesis Whip is like Kratos' default weapon, but faster, weaker but unleash multiple hits in one swing. Throughout the game you'll find yourself cycling through these weapons pretty regularly, as some enemies will require certain weapons to defeat. Needless to say, God of War 3 Remastered offers you a superb and varied range of weapons to kick ass with.

Though you'll find yourself fighting through hordes of monster and mythical beasts in God of War 3 Remastered, the real meat of the game is in the awesome boss battles. From the opening fight in which you battle Poseidon while trying to climb up Mount Olympus, the terrifying throw down with Hades in the Underworld, to the balls-to-the-wall insane battle with the Titan Cronos, who by the way is legitimately the size of a mountain, easily makes for God of War 3 Remastered having the best bosses of a game ever. No really, EVER. They're stunning in both their scale and design, and all make for truly iconic moments in gaming history. Personally my favourite was the battle with the God of Sun, Helios. After Kratos brutally rips off his head, Helios influence on the world is gone, and the sun vanishes behind dark brooding clouds. This is the moment in which I realised that Kratos wasn't f*cking around. I got goosebumps during every boss battle. It's almost indescribably epic.

Overall God of War 3 Remastered offers a stunningly realised world, fantastic puzzles to solve throughout your epic adventure, a few awesome and wonderfully different weapons to master, hordes of enemies to cut through, and a boss list that is nothing short of outstanding. It's pure exhilarating action, but is also smart, expertly designed and bothy of a few play-through. If you own either God of War 3 or God of War Saga, God of War 3 Remastered isn't essential. It doesn't offer up anything new to the game, but with it now running at 1080p at a steady 60fps, it's the best version of the classic game you'll likely find. If you've never played it before, what are you waiting for? Go kick some Olympian arse!

God of War 3 Remastered is perfect. 5/5.

★★★★★

Denis Murphy

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CeX Rugby wins "Retail Outlet of the Year 2015"

Thanks to everyone who voted for CeX Rugby - They have been named "Town Centre Retail Outlet of the year 2015" at the Rugby Business Excellence Awards!

We are super proud you have brought the CeX standard to Rugby. Shine on you crazy diamonds!

Jupiter Ascending

Like the vast majority of you reading this, I'm a huge, huge fan of The Matrix. I didn't see it in the cinema at release, but after catching it on DVD soon after it quickly became one of my favourite movies of all time. The action, the atmosphere, the fighting, the music and, of course, Hugo Weaving as Agent Smith, made for one of the greatest movies of all time. That's a pretty rare thing indeed, but though I've seen The Matrix around 20 times so far, every time it's on TV or my eye catches that old cardboard DVD case I have to watch it. The Matrix spawned two sequels, an anime anthology and various videogames, and though none of them were ever as good as the original masterpiece, I always felt the great creative force of The Wachowskis behind them. The Wachowskis went on to make other movies too, with my favourite being 2012's Cloud Atlas, a movie that told multiple stories over the course of a few thousand years. So with a great appreciation for The Wachowskis already with me since I first saw The Matrix, I went into Jupiter Ascending seeking greatness. I didn't find greatness- not by a long shot- but I still had a great time.

Directed by The Wachowskis and out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes Jupiter Ascending, a movie that's so over-the-top it's great. The plot to Jupiter Ascending is something you'll either love or hate, as it's not only really, really out there, but it often gets incredible confusing. Put simply, Earth isn't the only planet populated by intelligent beings. In fact, humans were effectively seeded on Earth, as were other beings on many other planets, for the sole purpose of eventually being harvested by powerful aliens. These aliens allow a world mature and its population to grow until they can harvest it in order to make a kind of youth serum for themselves, and with the leader of House of Abrasax now dead and her children now fighting over her legacy, the next planet on the chopping block is, yes, Earth! DUN DUN DUUUNN! That's where our heroine Jupiter comes in, the Earth girl who doesn't know that she's the rightful heir to the entire galaxy. That is until she's contacted by Caine Wise, a half-human/half-dog hybrid, and after their initial meeting Jupiter slowly begins to unravel the truth behind her veiled past, and her very royal future.

First the good. Like every movie by The Wachowskis so far, at the very, very least Jupiter Ascending is incredible to look at and is full of cool ideas. Right from the outset Jupiter Ascending has a superb, detailed and unique look about it, and it's also completely filled with great concepts. Whether it's Channing Tatum on his hover boots zipping around and kicking ass, the excellent huge lizard dudes that wear jackets and talk, the incredible alien cityscapes, the impeccable score by Michael Giacchino, the lovely flying chase sequence through the city, the invisible small creepy alien guys that attack Sean Bean's farm house, the fact that Sean Bean is HALF F*CKING BEE, the staggeringly lavish costume designs especially in terms of those in House of Abrasax, and finally, those robot dudes in which you can practically see inside their heads, it just all makes for great fun. It throws so much visual brilliance at the screen that it's hard to not be impressed. Even when it gets something wrong, chances are the following scene, character or fight scene just makes you want to forgive it. When I watch an action sci-fi I want to see stuff like this, and though Jupiter Ascending is by no means perfect in any way, with all the action, explosions and cool sci-fi shit in manages to pump out within its 2 hour running time, it's everything I want in a sci-fi blockbuster.

That said, Jupiter Ascending has problems- a lot of problems. For the most part the script is pretty weak, with some of the scenes that are intended to be romantic ending up cheesy and incredibly cringey. Script problems also screw with the pacing too, as characters are constantly jumping from scene to scene, planet to planet, planet to spaceship, spaceship to planet, all in a way that'll just make your head spin. When it comes to a truly great film, it's a problem when the visuals outshine the acting and performances, and in Jupiter Ascending this is most certainly the case. There's scenes of Channing Tatum trying to sexy that end up being hilarious, endless scenes of the Abrasax kids aimlessly chatting over who owns Earth, and far too many scenes of Mila Kunis being saved by Channing Tatum. Simply put, the script is pretty shit, and it came as a real shocker to me because The Wachowskis are far more capable of something better than this.

Overall Jupiter Ascending is a mishmash of both the awesome and the terrible, a frankenstein's monster of half-baked ideas and brilliant ones. However, despite the script really letting the movie down, I got what I wanted from it- great visuals, cool sci-fi gadgets, badass action and aliens galore. It ain't perfect, but hey, I loved it! If a coherent story can take a back-seat to that kind of stuff for you, Jupiter Ascending just might the perfect movie to enjoy while staying in on a Saturday night with a takeaway.

Jupiter Ascending is a brilliant mess and gets a 4/5.

★★★★☆

Denis Murphy

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Lenovo A7000

Lenovo recently launched the A7000, the phone which could be touted as the big brother of the Lenovo A6000, which launched earlier this year.  It’s being portrayed as a multimedia performer, and is the first phablet ever to feature the Dolby Atmos audio system.

Design, Display & Hardware:

This dual sim (4G) device is pretty slim at a mere 8mm, and also weighs only 140gms (lighter than most other competitors in the same price range). The screen is 5.5” and the device has a matte finished rear with smooth curved edges. When you hold it, it feels pretty solid and is very very ergonomic, not something you’d usually expect from a phablet. Overall, the phone itself is plastic but it doesn't feel cheap.

Something that’s not common is the Micro USB port and the 3.5mm audio jack on the top of the phone, rather than the bottom. I actually like it considering the fact that the cables don’t interfere if the device is on charging and, say, if you’re wanting to hold the phone normally to talk.

The three buttons are at the bottom and not backlit which is a pain if you’re using it in the dark. That said, haptic feedback does help it from becomin a major problem. Volume rockers and the Power button are in chrome and sit on the right edge of the phone.  It’s got a powerhouse battery @2900 mAh which theoretically can have a talk time of 16hrs on 3G, and I got just a little over half a day of usage with all day gaming, music & Youtube.

The 5.5” screen IPS LCD screen is 720p @ 267 ppi made of Asahi's Dragontrail glass. It’s bright enough and not reflective thus being easy on the eyes in the sun. The innards of the device host the Mediatek MT6752m Octa-core SoC @ 1.5Ghz & 2GB RAM with 8GB ROM out of which only 3.6GB is user available space. One surprising thing was only the 1st SIM slot supports 3G/4G while the 2nd one supports only 2G. Some people might have a problem swapping cards especially since they aren’t hot swap.

Camera:

It’s got an 8MP shooter with dual LED flash at the back and 5PM at the front. Both the cameras are decent, but not what you’d want or expect after looking at the overall performance of the phone. The 8MP camera has a f/2.2 aperture, and software shows off modes like Sepia, HDR, Live effects and Scene which isn’t a big deal anymore since there are plenty of 3rd party apps in the Playstore that can do all this and much more . While testing indoor during  daylight photos were good, but outdoor ones came out a bit dull and lacking colour. Sometimes it just kept refocusing to take a final shot which obviously didn’t come out right. Video recording is at 1080p and playback at 30fps which is pretty standard. The front camera is good so your selfies are sorted!

Software:

The phone runs on Lollipop out of the box, with the new and improved Vibe UI 3.0. It’s now got additional features like Sleep mode, multiple users , Secure zone (which lets you run apps in a secure zone), and Wide Touch which is like a floating dock for apps like camera, music etc .

One thing I did not like was heaps of pre-installed apps like Evernote, Truecaller, and various game demos. That said, you can remove them easily, and with them being free and available in the Play Store, it's no great loss if you do. Still, I'd appreciate if they'd keep my new phone empty for me to fill it with the apps of my choice, rather than imposing it on. It also features a Pocket Dial Prevention Mode that prevents pocket dialing, and avoids unnecessary touches unless phone sensor realizes that it’s out of your pocket and in your hands.

Gaming & Multimedia:

It’s pretty good at handling high end games like Asphalt 8, and while playing it I didn’t notice any lag. Though the phone does heat up but it’s the same with all high end phones as well ; GPU ,RAM , CPU all working together to give you an uninterrupted performance. In the Antutu benchmark test it’s just below the Mi4 and Honor 6 Plus which are far more expensive, and manages to beat them in the Benchmark OS and Geekbench 3 tests.

Multimedia wise, it’s got FM with a recording option and can play pretty loud music via the rear loudspeaker. Talking of the much hyped Dolby Atmos sound and equalizer, it just doesn’t cut it with the cheap, plastic earphones which are in the box. Invest in a good pair yourself, and they’ll definitely be music to your ears ! 

Conclusion:

It’s a good buy compared to the other phones in the market. Powerful battery, OTG support and direct storage on SD card are good plus points, but if you want a good camera phone look elsewhere.

I'd rate Lenovo A7000 a 4/5.

Pritesh Khilnani

★★★★☆

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Testament of Youth

Out now on DVD & Blu-ray and directed by James Kent comes Testament of Youth, based on Vera Brittain’s best-selling memoir of the same name. It tells the story of Vera, a young lady in 1914 who shocks her family and friends by making it into Oxford University, before choosing to potentially sacrifice it all to become a wartime nurse. As Vera struggles through this duty; her brother Edward, fiancée Roland and friends Victor & Geoffrey are all fighting the war on the front lines. With casualties mounting, will Vera’s loved ones make it? Wars aren’t only fought on the battlefield. I know, it just sounds like your average ladies-in-wartime drama film. But what it lacks in originality, it more than makes up for in the delivery.

Testament of Youth is really a film of two parts; pre-war and war. The pre-war chunk, which comes in at around 45 minutes, is a stunningly beautiful and lavish period drama which feels like a really good Downton Abbey – watching the first half, I completely forgot that it was a war film. Perhaps intentionally, everything felt so idyllic, colourful and happy. You share in the characters’ youthful joy and, like them, you feel like nothing could possibly go wrong. But once we get into the war, things get progressively darker and more difficult to watch. Despite being marketed as a lovely little romance, Testament of Youth does not shy away from the harsh realities of war. But even then, the film remains hauntingly beautiful in its cinematography and style.

Alicia Vikander (recently seen in Ex_Machina) is absolutely fantastic as Vera Brittain, and Kit Harrington (you know nothing, Jon Snow) isn’t too bad as her lover, Roland. Like any romance, they are the heart of the story as they’re the couple. Harrington is somewhat overshadowed by Vikander’s superb performance, but they work well together with strong chemistry. But Testament of Youth is truly an ensemble piece – like most period dramas, there is a rather vast list of characters and Taron Egerton, Colin Morgan, Dominic West, Miranda Richardson & Emily Watson all bring their full effort to the table and create an extremely believable production with their performances. 

But I feel like the film didn’t quite get as moving as others like it. I get it, in the war there were many deaths and you had to unfortunately take them in your stride and carry on. But for me, it felt like major deaths were very rushed, and brushed off rather abruptly. And while the film tried to end on a strong and powerful message about the futility of war, it seemed a little forced. But then, this isn’t a film that is particularly original or unique in its delivery, but it is very well made regardless. One thing I was rather worried about going in was the pacing – at 130 minutes, I was told it was a slow burner and was a subtle, understated piece. While this is true, I couldn’t believe how quickly it flew by!

Testament of Youth is a fine film; I was very pleasantly surprised by the production values, performances and pacing in particular. This isn’t necessarily a film that stands out, or a film that you’ll remember for a long time – it’ll probably end up becoming a Sunday afternoon viewing for most – but for what it is, it’s a very decent wartime romance flick. Just don’t watch it with your partner…I’m not going to say “it doesn’t have a happy ending”, but…you know…it’s a wartime romance. I think the ending goes without saying.

Testament of Youth is a surprisingly impressive film, and earns a solid 4/5.

★★★★☆

Sam Love

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Focus

I love a good con movie. Going back to classics like The Sting, modern greats like Catch Me If You Can and even kind of overblown nonsense like Oceans Eleven, if there's a movie out there about con artists, I'll watch it. I know, my standards are so high. I like movies about con artists and I also like both Will Smith and Margot Robbie, so this latest movie sounded like it was right up my alley. However, despite the two leads of this movie being genuinely fantastic in their roles, Focus doesn't ultimately hit the mark, and starts to fall apart after the halfway point.

Directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa and out now on Blu-Ray and DVD comes Focus, a movie that is proper 4/5 entertainment up until it gets to its problematic second half. Focus opens up in a nightclub where we see Nick Spurgeon, played by Will Smith, looking like a suave motherf*cker. A woman named Jess, played by Margot Robbie, approaches him to try and seduce him. However, with Nick being quite the conman, he quickly realizes that Jess is trying to con him. Disappointed and impressed that Nick could see through her con, Jess requests that Nick teach her in the ways of the con. He's reluctant but Jess, through dishing out info on him she found out, manages to persuade him. The first half of the movie focuses on Nick teaching Jess advanced conning methods and putting them into practice. The second half doesn't and it's not as good.

I've always been a huge fan of Will Smith. From watching him for years in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (“Where the videogames?!”), his great action performance in Independence Day and his leading role in Ali, a performance he should have won an Oscar for, I have huge respect for the dude. Then you have Margot Robbie, who despite not seeing in anything yet beyond The Wolf of Wall Street, I think she's a pretty great actress, and one I think will nail the role of Harley Quinn in the upcoming Suicide Squad movie. They're both superb in Focus, and have a wonderful chemistry that runs throughout the movie. This especially comes into play during the first half of the movie when Nick is essentially training Margot. Watching these small-ish cons is a lot of fun and is often pretty tense viewing. For this portion of the movie I was along for the ride, I really enjoyed the characters of Nick and Jess and assumed the whole movie would be about stuff like this. I guess not.

The second half of the movie takes place 3 years after the first, and after Nick and Jess meet up once again after a professional parting of ways, Focus goes down the route of playing on their fractured relationship and, naturally, a big con. That's all well and good, but I was having a blast with the first chunk of the movie, so when the second half just totally felt like a different movie altogether, I ended up not enjoying it as much. Also, the big con near the end of the movie just isn't that interesting. It's got loads of pieces in motion, has its fair share of twists and the like, but ultimately it fails to replicate the tension and style the first half of the movie achieved with smaller sleight of hand cons. Ultimately, for a movie centred around con artists, it kind of loses itself when it tries to deliver on the climatic goods.

Overall Focus is good and it's pretty watchable, but it does get a bit crappy after the halfway point. I wanted a movie totally about Nick training Jess to be as good as him, with their relationship being forged during afinal big con. Instead I got a movie is which Nick trains Jess, they kinda fall in love, they break up, three years pass, they find each other again, and they do a big con. I know a lot of reviewers are cheekily saying that this movie doesn't have “focus”, like it's some original joke or whatever, but seriously, this movie loses focus. For real. That's not a play on words, dear readers.

Focus is fun but loses focus halfway through. 3/5.

★★★☆☆

Denis Murphy

Focus at CeX

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